Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 19, 2017

At first I thought they’d taken a pee break

Those wacky aliens, always rewriting our DNA.

Any Wiley Bears on board? ;^)

when the arkers wrote up the event, there was a lot more water than just an alien pee break, and the amount of water grew with each telling…

Will this run for 40 days and 40 nights?

Almost as hard to believe as gathering 2 of every creature, is the mystery of where they got all the lumber (and nails) to build the ark in the first place.

Did we really need the snakes?

I’m sticking to the survival compound above the projected sea rise during a major glacial recession, commissioned and ordered by one of the Lords of the age. It fits the timeline better, seven to nine thousand years ago, and the story makes more sense that way.

So, that’s where Rain Birds came from ?

The Ark Tour. 40 days, 40 nights. Extreme crowding. Horrible service. No entertainment. Food was bad. Norovirus rampant. No deep sea fishing. No stops for shopping. No shops on board either. And the weather made the Gilligan’s Island storm look like a calm day.

Some people believe anything.

Some people believe nothing.

The Great Spritz?

So fish, what about fish. Did they bring on two of each type of fish? Was there a sister ship, the “Arkquarium”, for all of the sea creatures? I’m just asking.

I always thought Noah and his family built a barge, put his best livestock aboard with plenty of food, some board games and a big stack of magazines, and just waited for the water level to rise. All that about ‘every type of animal’ came in the rewrites.

When I was a child, I believed in the Tooth Fairy because my father would put a quarter under my pillow and remove the tooth. I believed in the Easter Bunny because my mother would hide a basket of chocolate bunnies somewhere in the house and I’d find it. I believed in Santa because my parents made Santa happen.And when I grew up, I put away childish things, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you grow up. Noah’s Ark is a children’s story that no adult should be silly enough to believe.

i want to see a Noah’s Ark / Eddie mash-up.

The next ‘arc’ will go into outer space. Too bad we can’t convince all the ‘important and chosen’ people that they should go now. ;)

And those lions never attacked any other living creature on the boat…..really?