Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 01, 2017

Goat, don’t tell Pig what happens at the end of Lincoln.

…or JFK.

I’ve seen The Hindenburg, and all I’ll say is that the ending will blow you away.

We were walking out of the early show of “Titanic”, passing the line waiting to get in to the late show, when my wife said, “I was so sad when the ship sank.” A teenage girl in line got mad— “Way to give away the ending, b!tc#”

Well, we certainly don’t eat bacon for its benefit to the IQ.

Similar situation. In line to see “Nicholas and Alexandra” I said to my friend that I wondered how they’d depict the final scene with the Romanovs… except I phrased it in terms of what actually happened. SEVERAL PEOPLE gave me the evil eye and one scolded me for spoiling the ending. I’d assumed everyone knew. But I won’t mention it here because maybe you don’t and will sometime see the movie. Then there’s the most famous spoiler of all time, “Rosebud was a ….”

Could someone tell me what happened at the end of 2001 Space Odyssey? I watched it and I still don’t know.

By the way, I’m a bit surprised not to have seen any April Fool’s cartoonist switches on the comics I follow here. There’s a good one over on Berke Breathed’s Bloom County Facebook page (his comics here run a few days behind). I hope it’s not a spoiler to say so.

Spoiler Alert!!!!

Everybody dies in the end.

In a previous life DarnOld Klump was a chief steward on the Titanic. He was the one who said, “Don’t worry, we are just stopping to pick up more ice”!!

Watching a stage production of 1776, during the big arguments about the Deceleration of Independence, I heard a woman ask her companion; “Do you think they’ll sign it?”

My former college professor told me that during one of his classes he mentioned the ending of Romeo & Juliet. One of the students shouted “Spoiler Alert! I haven’t read it yet!”

Pig? Seriously?!

Most ridiculous part of that movie is that the water outside the ship is depicted as being so cold it quickly kills, while when it is flooding the inside of the ship the characters have no problem swimming and wading through it with no signs of hypothermia.

Somebody at work got mad at me for saying, “Well we know Rose will live because she’s the one telling the story.” Seriously, if you saw any preview you would know this.

Pig is brutally ignorant. And he gets away with pretending it’s just naiveté!

Cartoon-Boy, why have you not educated your employees? Why do you keep your characters in ignorant servitude? I bet you don’t even pay them scale!

Imagine if “Titanic” had pulled a surprise ending where the boat doesn’t sink!

(And the only ones killed are two idiots who fell off the front of the boat)

This joke is 20 years old. There was a similar gag in the comics just after the movie came out in 1997. Why are we doing a re-run?

Pig never heard of the real Titanic disaster nor watched the movie Titanic? Seems like’s he’s not old-school..

APRIL FOOLS!!!