Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 20, 2017

I guess you could give him a medal for good sportsmanship.

I bet the Spitz family gets that joke a lot.

Did he get points for accuracy, or just for distance?

Denseness, thy name is Pig.

Better then Phelpsing on someone, I guess…

At least it wasn’t synchronized Spitzing.

The winners in any “gravity” sport get medals for just being weight.

Technically he spitz in the water and it got him the gold a few times over, so…

There’s a lot worse things you do can in water besides spit in it.

In one of my former lives, while still in this corporal body, I tried sales, and found out I wasn’t meant for sales. At one of our first sales meetings we were there with a fellow newbie named “Ralph”. He excused himself to the restroom, and we heard the noises that accompanied his nervous condition. I piped up and said, ’Now we know why they call him “Ralph” ’.Neither one of us lasted there very long.

How do they fill the Olympic swimming pool?

It’s funny in Spanish. Mark Spitz “nada” (swims) and “nada” also means nothing.

…trying to imagine a conversation between Pig and Drax the Destroyer

I remember watching Mark Spitz win 7 gold medals at the Summer Olympics in Munich in 1972.

Anybody who spits in public should be hung, drawn and quartered. I know it has to “come out” but you could at least do it in a private area out of sight.

Grumble Grumble…

xxx

from stephan pastis you get what you expectorate…

Pig is obviously not a fan and supporter of the Olympics. And that’s okay. They’ve become far too crass and commercialized. I spit on your commercialization, Olympics! Not nothing; right, Pig?

Once passed a canine breeder with a sign that read ESKIMO SPITZ DOGS. I’d pay good money to see that happen!

I expect a similar joke involving that Big Nate dog, Spitsy…