Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 03, 2017

I guess Pigita never asked Pig to go to the drugstore for her.

Does “feminine products” also cover anything that has “My Little Pony” pictures on it?

Feminine Protection means a pink flamethrower…

I’ve only seen those signs in women’s washrooms, not unisex ones. What are you doing the women’s washroom, Pig???

My toilet is safe…I keep all my bras and high heels in the closet where they belong.

I’m surprised the Comics Censor didn’t show up.

Rat answers the tough questions of our times.

Perhaps if Pig listened to Robert Earl Keene’s “Merry Christmas from the Family” on YouTube, he’d pick up a hint.

Are you sure you want a truthful answer to that question, Pig?

Women have a vending machine in their bathroom, and we don’t. That’s not fair!

Ermine. Obviously you don’t lead a protected life.

I’ve been in plenty of men’s rooms on highway exits that have vending machines. I always wonder who actually uses them.

We had a vending machine in college with beer in it. Good times.

So not sanitary pads or tampons, no?

xxx

Gee, I didn’t know that products had a sex (—gender, for you latter-day Confusionists). But, yeah, don’t throw them in the ter-lett, as old Archie used to say….

and they always leave the seat down

“Employees must wash hands before urinating.”

Victoria’s Secret Toilet!

What is wrong with people? Why do you need warnings not to do something you wouldn’t do at home!?! Or is there something wrong with me? In that case, I’ll stay exactly as I am, thanks.