Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 04, 2017

“…and fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”

He’s going to be flying solo pretty soon.

My older brother dated and then married a flight attendant. (Goat’s flight attendant must be married to her job.)

I’ll bet she says that to all of the guys … literally.

Today’s background music: “Airline Amy” by Weird Al Yankovic.

Touching. Just… touching. I’m moved to tears. Oh, wait…. just allergies.

Ah… romance…

Did Stephen crib Goat’s poem from a Valentine’s Day card?

Well, at least she cared enough to put it in writing for him.

Probably better than the last response he got from a woman: “I’m sorry, your call could not be completed…”

Sounds like this relationship has hit a bit of turbulence.

Over on the Spanish side, they translate flight attendant as “azafata.” Interesting story. It used to be “aeromoza,” since “moza” means a servant. But it can have less flattering connotations. “Azafata” comes from Arabic “safat” meaning “basket.” It refers to someone who carried baskets of fruit, flowers, etc. In other words, a higher class of servant.

I think I would be locating the emergency exits, just in case…

This sounds more like something Pig would do.

“Please return your flight attendant to the upright and locked position.”

Friendzoned!

…without using your hooves."

Maybe she meant their relationship is about to take off. Flight attendants don’t usually write notes to all their passengers.

Time to dump her, Goat. She obviously cares more about her job than you.

xxx

Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around? This sounds more like something Pig would do.

I think his Flight Attendant lady-love is trying to convey something to Goat. I am just not sure what. Maybe it’s good (she did bother to write), or maybe it’s not (the ritual text is rather cold). I guess now it’s Goat’s move….

What kind of poems ARE these?

“Please return your seat to the under-table position when leaving the cafe.”

I can’t help feeling the characters have somehow been reversed.