Close to Home by John McPherson for November 18, 2017

No one would need glasses. All would be physically optimum. And not even angels can look into the the face of the gorgon er.. Face of JHVH without going blind. Other than that I like the idea.

Who created you?

“Wait—There’s diversity here??”

Why were you so unfair when you created women?

Where’s the beer?

Why do you tend to favor rich white people ?

Would you rather eat 10 tubs of Twizzlers or drink 20 2l of Coke?

Why do you hate amputees? (Has issued miracles to cure just about everything else, but has never cured an amputee. Not one. I don’t know. It’s like it’s all fake.)

Do you always manifest yourself as an old, white guy? … or only that way to artists?

What is the mechanism in the universe that allows for free will?

Did you create us or did we create you?

Is the answer really 42?

OK, thanks for coming folks. Some real tough questions for God today. We’re sorry that the Almighty will not be able to answer each of your questions individually, but please stop by the front gate right after the session for some free literature.

To answer the first question, yeah we had to build a wall to keep the undesirables out. By the way, how did you get in?

If you are all powerful can you make a rock so big that you can’t lift it? (George Carlin)

If there is a brick wall at the end of the universe, what’s on the other side of the wall??

Good luck finding the edge of the unknown universe since it is expanding faster than the speed of light because there seems to be no limit to that expansion over photons.

Is there anything that can resurrect the career of (C list celebrity here, for our purposes, Tony Danza or Scott Baio)?

If we can believe that the Universe always was and always will be, why should we believe in You?

Yes, there is a Brick Wall, and you just Hit It!!

Take a look at today’s Non Sequitur; same theme.

Why can’t dogs live as long as people?