Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 07, 2018

What, no The Flintstones?

Believe it or not, it actually took me a few seconds to get this!

no seinfeld? wait… oh no! what have I done?!

The only TV series I have on DVD — well, more likely Blu-Ray — is the anime series “Clannad” and “Clannad After Story.”

Pervs before swine?

If only I were still a young kid. Then I’d have something to watch (I liked Thomas and Friends as well as Shining Time Station growing up, not to mention Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood) on Monday (if PBS children’s programming would just air late into the night) so that I wouldn’t have to deal with Rat – err, I mean, Herr Drumpf – attending the College Football Championship in Atlanta, which I would have watched because of the Georgia Bulldogs going to the championship until I learned that Herr Drumpf would be going to watch it and thereby cause a traffic and security nightmare of unprecedented proportions. Oh, well, I’m still a train-lover as an adult, and I have several films about railroading in the Atlanta area. I might as well make use of them…

What about Dora the Explorer? Has Swiper been grabbing things he shouldn’t?

Yeah and me with all those great old Cosby LPs. :(

No can do Pig. CNN recently had an article where they exposed Thomas and friends as fascist propaganda, along with Paw Patrol. Almost made me change to Fox, but that’s worse.

It’s still okay to watch and enjoy those videos, the jokes are still funny even when sexual predators are saying the lines.

Does this mean he can’t watch any news show that brings up politics?

Ringo? He’s okay, right? Please tell me Ringo is okay.

I’ve heard that Thomas has been showing off his caboose.

It’s just a matter of time… we’ll find out that Thomas rammed a caboose forcefully…

I have no problem with watching old TV shows or movies starring someone who is currently in disgrace. And that farce where they “overwrote” Kevin Spacey in a movie that was already completely filmed was totally unnecessary.

Well, what shall I watch tonight? There’s The Naked Gun, with O.J. Simpson. I could watch In Cold Blood, with Robert Blake. Maybe I’ll just listen to my Prairie Home Companion recordings.

I’ll stick with my Dr. Who DVDs, thank you very much.

I don’t think watching Cosby would bother me. Watching Woody Allen bothers me, because his character is him, and the whole thing is right there on the screen.

What, no Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens, All in the Family, The Jefferson’s, I Dream of Jeannie, or Married with Children, Pig? Come on, man, get yourself a better selection of DVDS!

Can’t go wrong with Star Trek…I mean the original series, Next Generation, Voyager and the like. You know, the real Star Trek.

7th Heaven

No so fast. Emily now says Thomas used to harass her with sexual innuendos about getting “up to steam” while making suggestive piston motions and asking her if she wanted to “pull a train” with Thomas, Edward and Percy, and if she didn’t, she’d get a taste of Toby’s cowcatcher. She said it was especially hard as the only female regular. She says she still has nightmares about what went on in Tidmouth Sheds after dark when they would put her on the turntable and spin to see who was next.

The ironic thing is Thomas the Tank Engine is also being slammed by some progressive thinkers these days.

You just wait till the Fat Controller’s scandal breaks!!!!

At least they are not watching CSPAN. I heard there’s to be a remake of Crotch Rocket starring Anthony Weiner.

The BBC version of House of Cards is much better than the on-and-on-and-on Spacey show. Check it out.

Get over yourself, just because and individual is “Accused” of sexual harassment doesn’t lessen his or her prior performances.

All that smoke. An insensitive and major threat to the atmosphere. Maybe there’s a DVD of the test pattern in there?

All that smoke. An insensitive and major threat to the atmosphere. Maybe there’s a DVD of the test pattern in there?

Wait, I have some Miramax movies—oh, er…

Everything you grew up with are pervs.

What about Titanic?

xxx

Just get out the Woody Allen movies. He’s Teflon.

Harrumph, Pig. It’s only Pigita, so who cares?

Maybe exposure to some of those Bad Apples would get her to dump you! Everyone wins, then!

How about Gilligan’s Island?

I’m not at all sure what his problem is. Doesn’t want to watch a TV show from DVD?

Can somebody explain this to me?

Going to fill your car tank? Too bad, oil companies are all monsters destroying the planet. Love your iPhone? Slave labor. Sneakers of a nice brand? Same. BBQ? Meat produced with cruelty, torture and toxins. Any product made with palm oil? Deforestation and extermination of whole species, including great Apes. And it goes on and on… Our whole society is built on misery and death.