Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 06, 2018

So if you’re old and can’t afford a nursing home, kill somebody.

This can ALMOST be thought of as positive attitude. From Rat, that’s surprising. But what’s not surprising is that Guard Duck saved 532 dollars on car insurance when switching to Geico!

Didn’t Rat HAVE a job writing greeting cards at one point?

Start smoking. That knocks off another ten years.

Well, you’ve got a point, Rat.

You load 16 tons and what do you get, another day older and deeper in debt. Saint Peter don’t call me cause I can’t go, I owe my soul to the company store. Happy Birthday #%@&!

Ah yes. “Clean Coal” and their company store. Tennessee Ernie’s cautionary tale of the mining industry and their horrible working practices. No mention of the burnt by-product filling the lungs of everyone near the places that burned it.

At least we had lights at night, eh?

The L&N don’t stop here anymore.

I like how they can just randomly end up on what looks like a sandy, deserted island whenever they need to have the right kind of conversation. Those and cliffs seem pretty recurrent in the PBS universe.

I turned the big 3-0 last Monday, and I wasn’t depressed one bit

The late great Flip Wilson (in his Geraldine Jones persona) once quipped that “the cost of living’s goin’ up but the chance of living’s goin’ down.” Of course, that was back in the mid 1960’s. Things are so much better now, aren’t they?

Love the lines but also wanted to note – that’s a really pretty sunset.

OK that’s funny. Very reminiscent of early P’s.

Ahhh, assuming a two-week lead time on the comics, Stephan just turned the big five-oh when he wrote these (his birthday is January 16th)

I don’t bother with mine very much. In fact this year I’m just staying at home. Last year, I went to a Buffet Restaurant and bought myself a cake 2 days before. Birthdays are simply not birthdays without cake.

xxx

Gee, I thought you already did, Rat; for Hellmark [not a misspelling]….

Does Rat’s birth certificate have an expiration date?

I’m upbeat about turning older because I’m so young (19)!

Stinky

Taking age is just a number to a whole new level.

That would make a great arc, Rat being arrested.

That’s a weird point of view

I only get depressed on my birthday if I’m forced to share it with people I don’t really care if I never see again.