Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 16, 2018

Cut off your hands.

luckily I don’t have Twitter nor post much on Facebook

Several months ago, in one of his rants, Lewis Black told how, when he gets up in the morning, the first thing he does is turn on his smartphone and ask Siri for the news. Lately, she’s replied, “Are you sitting down?”

“Get up. Check Twitter. Lose Hope.”

Good a plan as any, I guess.

I have nothing to do with Twitter or Facebook. There are only 24 hours in a day and to get things done I want done I need that time. The most frittering I do is check my funnies at night.

The Great Twitter Machine is not mocked!

Have the speech bubbles been mixed up?

I guess Rat must have called out sick today – that sounds more like his type of day.

And Goat USED to be the sensible one….

A few weeks back, I heard some students from Stanford University were protesting at Apple Hq. because Apple made iPhones addictive. I guess it’s the phone’s fault.

Zebra doesn’t appear enough. I prefer him greatly to Goat!

This is a side of Goat I haven’t seen before, he’s usually the more reserved wise one? Is goat off his meds?

Still going with 2 Broke Girls:

“Twitter is stupid and Instagram is Twitter for people that can’t read.”

And phones fit perfect into cloven hooves.Go figure.

Yesterday morning, I was reading Ron Chernow’s biography of U.S. Grant while listening to J.S. Bach’s “Mass in b-minor”. Didn’t do the walk due to a sore leg.

Yes, Zebra, it is long time no see. I want to see more of you!

Doesn’t anyone have a job in Pearlsland?

I’m a social media ghost, have nothing to do with it nor do I even carry a mobile phone! Yes you can live this way, try it you may like it.

Speaking of Zebra, I am looking forward to their next album, should there be a NEXT album…..

Happy to see Zebra’s recent haircut has grown back to normal.

If you don’t use twitter you’re going to miss the rant of the day from POTUS. I’m using it to replace the joke of the day. Seemed suitable.

And evade/outwit crockydiles!

What Goat did on his summer vacation: On the first day of his summer vacation, he got up, checked Twitter, lost Hope…On the second day of his summer vacation, he got up, checked Twitter, lost Hope….On the third day of his summer vacation, he got up, checked Twitter, lost Hope….On the tenth day of his summer vacation, he got Hope, checked up, and lost Twitter. Bob was not pleased.

After Bob passed away, comedy became Hopeless.

Zebra recently rearranged his schedule. He would get up for a walk, read some music, listen to some history, and with all this being hopeless, would go (away) in a mo(u)rning (state).

How sad for Goat! I endorse Zeeba Neighba’s Lifestyle choice!

Zebra, don’t put down Goat just cause he won’t put down his phone.

If I keep using my computer way more often, my desk would fuse together with my computer which would fuse together with my headphones which would fuse together with my ears! I would be stuck using my computer FOREVER!!! I should get off soon..

I wish Zebra and Goat had more interaction. With Goat being often overshadowed by Pig and Rat, and Zebra hardly being noticed at all (he isn’t even in the thumbnail for the strip!) It’s easy to forget that these characters are friends, or can at least have a good conversation.

Goat’s dialogue feels like it belongs to Pig