Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 23, 2018

Does his bumper sticker say God is My Co-Author?

Explains why he had to wander around for forty years. His publisher booked the tour.

Take these three tablets and call me in the morning, Mister Brooks.

No one could read their tablets anyway. (Roman numerals devised some four centuries after the supposed time of the Exodus.)

Safer than getting autographs from a burning bush. The publisher would have faced a major drawback with book tours if he moved to paperback.

Ghost written, eh?

That’s odd. I thought they’d be in Hebrew.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I48hr8HhDv0

The sign should read, “Meet the Scribe!”

The alternate title, ‘Made to be Broken’.

So Moses broke the “Thou shalt not steal” commandment by proclaiming himself as author. Only nine more to go. Bring on the adultery.

Um, the Ten Commandments were in the second book, Exodus. Genesis was the first. So this is the first tour for the second book.

Subtitled, The Musings of an Incredibly Insecure Deity.

Next tour up, Melania.

Better check with The Almighty and make sure it’s OK for you to sign it.

The Ten Commandments were only the prologue. Leviticus and Deuteronomy contain the whole of the Law. And it’s pretty harrowing to read. “Clean,” “unclean,” and “abomination(s)” abound (in the KJV, anyway). But it does get pretty racy at times (especially the provisions delineating who can marry whom).

I thought Jesus replaced all those with the one Golden Rule… Old Testament vs New Testament issues again…

The Bible was stolen from so many other cultures… to plagiarize is divine

Divine blasphemy.

That doesn’t look like Charlton Heston at the table.

The Ten Commandments Are Obsolete

The Ten Commandments? Obsolete, my friend

On me (your anti-conscience) please depend

Instead of one god only, have a few

If you get lucky some might follow YOU

And honoring thy parents makes no sense

Unless you move back to their residence

And never take the good Lord’s name in vain

Unless, of course, you’re ticked off or in pain

And Sabbath-honoring? So yesterday

In these enlightened times sin every day

And don’t create an evil graven image

Unless thereby you do your rivals damage

Bear no false witness against friend or neighbor

Unless, of course, it lessens your own labor

And stealing in this modern day and age?

Both Wall and Main Street think it’s all the rage

Adultery can be a lovely game

Preventing sex from being “same ol’ same ol’ same”

And coveting thy neighbor’s wife and ass

Can be a treat, but only if the lass

Be well and truly formed, so here’s my rule:

Where wife is lacking, covet only mule

Concerning killing, causing rigor mortis

Only R.J. Reynolds ever rivals Phillip Morris

With so few customers, he’ll never make a good profit.

Well, it’s not as if the real writer is going to challenge your assumption of credit, Moses.

Oh wait….

Actually, God wrote them with His own hand, not Moses chipping a dictation.

How funny, this atheist cartoonist. Come judgement day, he will joyfully want to eat all his religious cartoons. Come judgement Day

Ref Serp – And thus is displayed the sense of humor of absolute faith.