Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 13, 2018

Larry, just admit you can’t read.

You mean it’s not in Crokodese?

Did the bookcase come from the Me-KEA?

A lot of directions for things like bookcases are done with such easy to follow diagrams that it doesn’t worry me too much about the language. Only really worries me when the language is some Asian language and is written in kanji.

Whut, no direckshuns in ’murican?

So much for father and son bonding.

I don’t know what language Larry’s speaking, but it’s not English.

Larry can speak really poor English but can’t READ English?! He da stoopid one

The instructions are in good English, but he don’t read good.

It’s not so much the PC Police (who I bet have really cool squad cars) as the global marketplace.

I used to have a service manual for an early 60s Datsun 1600. Now that was a treat to read. If it weren’t for the illustrations I’d have never fixed anything on that car.

The brick-and-board bookcases at the north end of my room have held together nicely for 30 years. But I think the floor is a bit lower on that side now.

I can read readin but i can’t read writin, especially, if the wrtin is wrote rotten!….I said that right…didn’t I?

I can actually HEAR what Larry’s voice sound like! LolMORE crockydiles please!

ME WANT CROC ESE!!!

Instructions are in all sorts of languages these days. And the English version is but a small part. Sometimes I even have trouble finding it.

Now we know that Larry is not a real man. When was the last time a real man read instructions?

Always a good morning when the crocs appear.

Crock no know reading Eenglish.

“Hey Stoopid!” Said Alice Coop(er)id.

Just because it’s in English doesn’t mean it makes sense. This is part of the user manual for a kitchen timer with clock and stopwatch functions. They are attempting to tell me how to set the time. “Press the mode key by that time manifestation, the key adjusts by second the key adjusts the cent by the cent on time the key adjusts the hour. Press mode key to account mode, be the zero, press to start the key account the hour beginning.”

Larry should not attempt any DIY projects. —Just as a general rule.

Besides, what on earth would Larry want with a bookcase?

Used to work for a man who knew 8 or 9 languages. He would just open the instructions to any language and translate on the fly. It was interesting how often different language versions didn’t agree.