Herman by Jim Unger for June 28, 2018

Can I get a second opinion ?

“… and that’s being optimistic.”

It was a tough hangnail, but I think I got it and you’ll pull through OK.

My insurance costs are going through the roof – go figure.

“Also, I ask advanced payment from my patients. Just in case…”

A friend relates that as her husband was going under the knife, the surgeon advised her to, “Buy a black dress.” But happy ending – he’s alive & well these many years later.

During a pre-op ultrasound, my surgeon pointed to the screen and asked, “What’s that?” The radiologist replied, “The heart.”

Your luck is about to improve. I’m outta here!

No one else thought he was funny, but he swore he was killin’ it!

In the early Seventies, doctors in California were upset that their malpractice insurance was rising rapidly, so they decided to do no elective surgeries — only required life-saving surgeries.

Mortality dropped greatly. It turns out that if you have a one in two hundred chance of dying in an elective surgery and there are a thousand of those per day, 5 a day are gonna die. (Made up odds and numbers, not the result.)

You need a new doctor.