Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for July 18, 2018

How long since the last one?

Don’t get too close. That door can close quickly and with force !

5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

…and may we thank you in helping us keep the average up.

You know, I’m already refreshing this page for 40 minutes, and she still didn’t whacked him.

Last person who tried that with me broke their clipboard.

That’s good to know.

Quite a few homeowners keep heavy, clublike objects near their front doors. I’ll see your clipboard and raise you a 4 D cell Mag Lite.

Who even opens the door these days to strangers? When I’d see the Jehovah Witness people down the street, I’d lower my shades, turn down the TV and pretend not to be home.

Did you know that, on an average day, somewhere, a canvasser gets their foot crushed in a doorway?

and i am here collecting money for the “prevention of canvassers snapping and whacking someone in the head with a clipboard every 39 minutes in this country fund” would you like to donate?

JOJO just like the 13 year old boy here in SC that was kiled by a gun tottin’ asshole “shooting through the door” on Halloween. He got off. A real notch in the ole NRA tomahawk eh?

Cite some sources.

Did you know that someone slams a door in a canvassers face every 38 minutes to avoid getting slapped or whacked by sad canvasser?

Geez, all this talk about whacking and nobody’s getting o.. — hold it. I’m sending myself to my room!

What are the statistics for how often a canvasser gets punched in the nose?