Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 03, 2018

For once Rat was a good friend.

well, with Rat’s help, Pig achieved ONE goal of which he can be proud

Not only that, but gaining weight, making house look as ugly as possible, and blowing your money on useless things are all great goals!

If you are retired, there is taking naps. If I get any better at it, I’ll be able to challenge Rip Van Winkle.

Technically, if you spend money or don’t paint your house, you’re losing weight. So, Pig is batting 333.

In this case, failure is an option.

Something I read a long time ago – lower your expectations to the point where they are already met, and the result is happiness.

Pig is easy to please.

I consider myself a success because I still have a roof over my head and something to eat in the fridge.

At age 65, I can say that the biggest success in my life has been to not commit suicide. Also, my biggest failure. Yeah, I know. Dark.

If the goal you set for yourself is to fail, and you accomplish it, does that mean you’ve succeeded, and therefore have failed to meet your goal?

(My head hurts.)

Sad. Just Sad.

I’ve had bosses who excelled at this – finding a way to declare a failure a success and moving on.

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

OK, how many knew that Rat was left-handed?

Well, I think you found a goal most of us can achieve.

Nicely done, Rat! You’ve put Pig in good cheer!

(Are you ill?)

Rat is the very soul of empathy! ;)

Rat, I think Pig’s goals are bad enough already.

I think they’ve exhausted this recurring gag.