Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 30, 2018

Goat should have said it isn’t over until the plus size lady sings.

Pig, in your case I do believe the fat lady has sung!

Why is it wrong to say that fat people are fat, and should be ashamed of it?

The word police must be doing a wonderful job when it comes to figures of speech.

How did the prosecutor miss the use of ain’t in the charges against goat? Many moons ago, English teachers raked students over the coals for using ain’t instead of isn’t!

According to the seal on the Judge’s bench, Goat was tried in the “Court of Public Opinion”. He should have demanded a change of venue. The “Court of Sports Cliches” would have been more appropriate and sympathetic to his case.

I forget- who was the fat lady, by the way?

The Word Police are a pretty easy satirical target…

Sure we have them. And we always will. They have their place. Just like Thought Police (along the lines of “You were thinking about having another drink.”) and Grammar Police. It hurts nothing. Discourse continues as it sees fit.

Now, if you ask me “Do you always practice what you preach?” The answer is “Hell no.” I have called out a Grammar Cop or two.

They may be losing but are they down for real?

I think “ain’t” is still “out.” Unfortunately “snuck” is still hanging around to turn my stomach.

Stephan, you only need to worry about the cliché police…

Pastis is into punography.

Someday the only things you may say to each other will be “Hello” and “Goodbye”…….

Double-plus ungood bellyfeel. Stet rerite 10/2.

Making the world a better place, one authoritarian executive over-reach at a time.

Yogi also reminded us that when you come to a fork in the road, take it.

That’s beyond ridiculous

Mama Cass ?

Humor approved by the word police ain’t funny no more.

So disappointed to see you perpetuating this tired right-wing trope.

Pastis is to “Political Correctness” as Mel Brooks is to Hitler. I.E. Make it such a target of ridicule and humor that NO ONE can take it seriously, and want to follow it ever again.

This would be funny if it wasn’t true……

I love the court insignia. Should add “Court of Social Media” too. (Yes, it may be a tad redundant)

sheila jackson lee

Well done Mr. Pastis.

The problem is that in this PC world we live in, “It ain’t over ‘til the plus-sized individual, currently identifying as a female, sings” just doesn’t roll off the tongu.

All is well that Orwells

The prosecution seems to be off base (no pun intended). I think the reference is to a Wagnerian opera and I don’t believe he was Italian.

It’s especially harsh to try Goat in prison clothes in front of a jury.

Honestly, this is how society is in 2018.

That loud noise at the end Triggered me! Back to comic jail for you, bub! ;-)

He’s lucky the Grammar Police didn’t catch him first. Using “ain’t” is a hanging offense.

Actually, I was always under the assumption that the “fat lady” reference was made about Kate Smith, who usually closed her performances with a rousing rendition of “God Bless America”.

The Word Police forgot to correct the bad grammar, not likely.

How about, “It ain’t over until the lead diva sings.”

Absolutely spot on. Well done, Stephen.

Pig’s “Down” – discrimination against

people with depression;people with down’s syndromegeese and / or ducks

Reminds me of an old TV show, “The Practice” in the late nineties (turned into “Boston Legal” later on). Lawyers had to represent a hugely fat chick who went to a carnival and a dunk-tank-clown called her fat while trying to draw in contestants. Waahhhhh…..

I wish there wasn’t so much truth in this comic.

I find it interesting that most comedians, comic artists and humorists in general are usually unfailingly liberal except when it comes to their own comedic freedom of expression; I.e. Bill Maher, Jerry Seinfeld etc.; then it becomes an outrage about outrage.

Punctuation Police!: the apostrophe before “Til” is upside down.

This was a job for the cliche police, NOT the word police. Sheesh.

Punctuation police disapproves: the apostrophe in ’til is facing the wrong way.

I get what Pastis is trying to say, but I’m just not buying the notion that today’s PC climate is SOOO oppressive. Yes, it CAN go too far from time to time, but you might wanna talk to some veterans of the ’60s Civil Rights movement, or perhaps survivors of the Marxist-Communist era in Eastern Europe, to discover what REAL oppression looks like.

#BanPoliticalCorrectness

….and once again the Word Police have sucked all the joy and humor out of everything!!!

Love it, thanks for the belly laugh, Mr. Pastis.

That offends you? It’s funny to me. That must be why I’m happier than you.

I find it interesting that most comedians, comic artists and humorists in general are usually unfailingly liberal except when it comes to their own comedic freedom of expression; I.e. Bill Maher, Jerry Seinfeld etc.; then it becomes an outrage about outrage.

Well done, Cartoon Boy – well done.

Um, Patsis you have offended me with your Anti-lunacy rant against my right to silence you through intimidation, boycott, yelling loudly in your face, flash mobbing, getting you fired, or using the tools of government to destroy you.

I will be organizing a social justice crusade to end your so called “comic” for your attack on me and my black masked, trash can throwing mob. This is no longer art..so say we all (well, 50% +1 of us)!!!

I am really offended…THAT is the standard to which you MUST submit …you will face the consequences!

Approved by the SJW – after they settled down.

So, Stephen Pastis, you’re making fun of the word police. You’re making fun of people trying to teach us not to be so freaking insensitive? Sigh. Oops, your white privilege is showing, careful, right there. Come on, aren’t you better than this?

Long way to go for not funny.

First time I ever heard it was an episode of Dukes of Hazzard and it was “Church ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings”

You probably think it’s funny, now. But wait until the Word Police come for you!

Poor Goat. Is he allowed to have visitors in Re-Education Camp?

Oh hey, look, another gross misrepresentation at how things actually work. eyeroll

I notice nobody has pointed out to the media that their use of “witchhunt” is offensive or that Hollywood is still making bucks/movies potraying witches/pagans as evil ……..

“It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.” – Yogi Berra

Now the international clowns and funny people organization is out to get you for publishing writing an unfunny comic!

I guess the PC word police beat the grammar Nazis to the scene of the crime(s).

Pretty sure it was Ethel Merman.

The Word Police takes the fun out of everything!!!

In the late 1970’s, it was a motto of the Washington (then-) Bullets basketball team, who stayed in the games to pull out their one championship season in ‘78. Heck, I used to have a T-shirt!However, the roots of the expression seem to go back even further!This discussion ain’t over ’til…https://www.sbnation.com/2010/3/9/1085904/today-in-sports-history-march-10th

Do women WANT to be called commoners?

Hahahaha!

XD It’s so true, all of the democrats see racism and hate in everything.

1984 reference here