Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 14, 2018

Can I do my two bits?

I bridle at the thought!

Hold that pose for a treat … Kibbles and Bits … with ketchup …!

Freeze, remain exacting where you are with your balancing chair act as long as you can. K-9 has bit off more than what it can chew..

Pet clothes would be boss, tonight’s feature attraction, turn your eyes to the center ring, and away we go…

Dog bytes computer monitor. Is that a fit bit around his neck?

It’s not his only trick. It’s just his favorite trick.

One talented min-pin. The lovely assistant who helped place it on the two chairs waits anxiously just out of frame. Anyone else remember Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour?

New Nike slogan?

Feed the poor!

The dismount is even trickier.

He couldn’t tilt the table. That meant there was a deal in play, and Flipper Kraken was the main man. It also meant all the Good Guys were all playing Tommy, deaf, dumb and blind. That deal was what got Uncle Pete his early retirement, for not featherbedding. It looked like Uncle Pete was following up on keeping an eye on the Krakens, against all the best advice available, caught between what was good for him and what was right. That put him in a tough spot, and ultimately between a hard rock and the wrong place at the wrong time. Being faithful didn’t pay well. I knew that already. But I’d been happy with the kibble, and so had Uncle Pete. The difference was that I’d given up and moved on, while Uncle Pete was still making his stand and doing his bit. I knew which was smarter, but it didn’t make me feel any better.

But dogs are the biters not the bitten.

Hair of The Dog That Bit You…

Very wooden performance, with lighting and props no doubt meant to be evocative of the tomb of Tut-ankh-amun. Egyptianizing Style was en vogue for a while in the late 1920s, but that is now rather passé.

Get with the times or be lame!

12.5¢. Done.