Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for January 30, 2019

Teresa—thank you! I needed that beautifully positive attitude toward health problems right now.

The ills have eyes.

Beau Tiful would be a good name for the lead singer of a Cajun zedeco band.

Froglandia Energy operates and maintains a power grid and gas pipeline system. Most of the power comes from geothermal plants connected to the Lovefeel Lava Flows. While localized disruptions are possible, there has only been one major power outage in Froglandian history. Both heat and power were lost to all of Froglandia, aside from those homes or businesses having their own generators, such as Little Sisters of the Lame Hospital and Habidashery, two blocks down from the Bath Mat Factory, which also has its own emergency generator. The few homes newer than the introduction of gas pipelines and electrical power retain the traditional working fireplace and aggressive insulation schemes that proved so useful in the past. A traditional Froglandian home can survive any power outage with nothing more than a small pile of comix brush wood, without a single pipe bursting.

You’re so young. You still want to be beautiful. In a few years you’ll be introduced to things to make you disgusting looking. You’ll compete at that with your peers. They’ll say you’re not real, not committed. Try pretzels.

I think many of us had a wish for a tail. I remember having one after watching Jumanji with Robin Williams.

I always thought the old block had to be infected first.

Will she need a Z bra?

I didn’t look it up, but aren’t all potato chips infectious in some way, shape, or form … would a tail grown in the shape of Idaho be a bad thing …?

A fairy tail ending? Someone’s been kissing frogs again. Just beware the Sonoran Desert Toad.

When the chips are down, pick them up with a good dip.

“Bloody daft ideas… mad as a box of frogs.” Guy Fawkes

One of the classic “children’s books” of my childhood was Robbut: A Tale of Tails, about Robbut the rabbit and his quest for the right tail. I don’t think he tried potato chips along the way.

But may I say you look quite fetching in your zebra stripes, almost the classic Victorian sickly heroine….

Telekinesis is better than a prehensile tail.