Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 07, 2019

Also get an advisor who will tell you about how donating money to charity can be a tax write off.

The best financial plan that I have known is the one that says; “Do not spend more than you earn, and save a little for the unexpected”.

Pig would donate more than he won, he is such a softie.

You’re weird

Pig’s retirement plan requires a Lotto luck.

Lottery tickets are for losers.

Rat’s winning strategies are for losers!

Rat couldn’t be a genuine financial planner: he’s not siphoning off enough money from Pig.

Rat left off the part where the guy goes bankrupt because he spent more money than he won.

Did Rat finally get fired for punching the coffee customers ? …. Croc Power !

What was your first clue, Pig?

Most of the people who win those lotteries go broke within 5 years. They think that buying lottery tickets are good ‘investments’. That is to say, they are not good a handling money.

I heard Jeff Foxworthy say that “A redneck’s retirement plan is winning the lottery.” only he said it with his great comic timing. :)

Lotteries are a tax on the mathematically challenged.

♪ I don’t practice santeria ♪

♪ I ain’t got no crystal ball ♪

♪ I had a million dollars ♪

♪ But i spent it all! ♪

The best financial plan I have discovered is to give yourself an allowance for the week and the rest….Cha Ching ….. IN THE BANK! ……NO TOUCH!

Unless you blow it all on stupid things and drugs……..

Step #2 in Rat’s Financial Planning scheme is the most difficult one. Most people don’t get past #1.

The lottery is a voluntary tax on the mathematically challenged.

Which reminds me, I need to check last night’s numbers.

I have to point out that people win the lotto, otherwise the jackpots would be much higher. Studies show that people will play lotto as long as they feel the game is fair.

Rat must work for a lot of people I know.

I prefer my retirement plan.

1. Buy piles of comic books.

2. Tell myself my comics collection is worth millions.

3. Refuse to sell any of my precious collection.

4. Die in poverty.

5. Be buried with my books.

The end.

We all do.

If you can’t afford to pay cash for it, pass it by. Debt is worse than cancer; it always gets worse, never better.

Best financial advice? Die broke!!!!! Your last check to the undertaker should bounce….

Goat’s a lot smarter than all those people I see lined up to buy PowerBall tickets from the racketeers.

Wise recognition, Pig! Rat is no help to anyone’s finances but his own—and even that is highly problematic….

About as sound as any other choice.

Save a lot. The unexpected can be expensive.

If you don’t buy a ticket to the lottery, the odds against you are infinite. By buying just one ticket, the odds become finite. Where else can you purchase an improvement of that magnitude for so small a cost?