Rubes by Leigh Rubin for March 16, 2019

And I think they only work through agents.

Ernest, have you considered growing a beard?

but he’s wearing a bow tie and slept at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

I thought those came to your door in pairs and wanted to talk religion.

“But it’s go a lot of dirty words in it!!!”

“Want to read my manifest?” Said the Random House Killer.

In the seventies I had a friend who was a professional book indexer. Meaning he created the indexes for non fiction books. He often gave me messenger jobs picking up and dropping off manuscripts at the various publishing companies in Manhattan. If any of you remember the phony Howard Hughes autobiography that Clifford Irving penned, then you will remember the publisher he defrauded was Random House. One of the publishers my friend did business with was Random House which was located in Rockefeller Center. In what I consider a great piece of irony, there was a bank branch located in the lobby of the Random House Building. The name of the bank was Irving Trust Company.

And it drove him to drink.

Ernest misunderstood when they told him to give it to Random House.

He should go to camp.