Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for April 06, 2019

The outfit has nothing to do with it.

Right now you need a disappearance spell, Wiz.

Thanks for the reminding.

As every man knows, this question is a deathtrap because there is no “right” answer!

As Al Bundy said: “It’s not the dress that makes you look fat, it’s the fat that makes you look fat.”

A right answer given in the wrong way is still a wrong answer!

An impossible answer to an unfair question.

I am SO grateful my wife has never asked me this.

“No. You make the outfit look fat.”

Isn’t there a spell that can make that sentence come out as “RUN WAY! I’m going to try to start a fight!”

No, but your size does.

That mirror makes you look fat. Quit looking in It!

You just can’t win sometimes.

If he let her finish, she was saying : “Does this outfit make me look far better than other women?”

she was going to say fantastic, or fabulous.

Timing is everything…

Being the wizard, he could always tell the truth and ZAP to another location…..

“Never put your spouse in a position where a lie is the only possible response.”

Never answer yes or no. Say you look great whatever you wear, sweetie!

Oh No! now the Wiz will need to join Blanch and Garfield on his new diet. (Ref: see Garfield cartoon)

Maybe to fast, but still better a to fast no that a too fat yes.

I don’t think thinking about it for a couple of hours before you answer would help.

My GF was always complaining about her hips being to big. I would feel her hips and say there’s not any fat on them, so what do you proposed to do about them? I also mentioned that in the past her hips would be considered beautiful and other women would be jealous of her!

That is called a “conditioned response.”

The only safe response was given in Monty Python “Run Away! Run Away!”

“No, it makes you look great!”

“Does this dress make me look fat?”

“No speekee Eengleesh…”

In this case he could say, “Let me reflect on for while”. I know that won’t work, just reflecting on the mirror.

Fast beats slow.

Timing is everything!

He didn’t wait for the mirror.

Timing is everything.