Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 11, 2019

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    BE THIS GUY  over 5 years ago

    Now show what a rebel you are by bragging about not having AppleCare.

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    DarthRevan  over 5 years ago

    Note to children – protective cases to not make phones impervious to damage. I once saw a group of middle-school age children playing football with a phone “because it had a protective case”. Needless to say, it broke.

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    juncarlo  over 5 years ago

    Pig, a man must convey self-confidence, security and demonstrate control, things like that make men attractive to women.

    But I’m sure that you look delicious to both women and men.

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    hangedman  over 5 years ago

    You can’t help it if you’re unattractive. You’re just drawn that way.

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    Gent  over 5 years ago

    I thought women liked ham and bacon too.

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    Gent  over 5 years ago

    Why go after women, Pig? Are all female pigs extinct?

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    Troglodyte  over 5 years ago

    No woman likes you, Pig? Siri-ously?

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    SonicFan91  over 5 years ago

    bye bye Super Mario Run

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    Kveldulf  over 5 years ago

    Half a century ago I worked one summer job with a guy who always carried an expensive SLR camera. Whenever he spotted an attractive young lady, he would ask permission to take her picture, then ask her to fill out a model release form. Now he had her interest, her name, her address, and her phone number. He was quite successful.

    He told me that he explained his system to one of his less successful friends and that friend promptly went out and bought ………….. a Kodak Instamatic.

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    the lost wizard  over 5 years ago

    Maybe they think you’re a sexist pig.

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    jpayne4040  over 5 years ago

    It always ends badly when Pig takes a risk!

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    Breadboard  over 5 years ago

    Pig don’t worry …. Be Happy ! …. Croc Power !

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    The Brooklyn Accent Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Pig just made a spelling error while trying to emulate James Dean: he’s a Rebel Without a Case.

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 5 years ago

    If you’re a jerk or have money or both then women love you.

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    well-i-never  over 5 years ago

    Standing on a swivel stool? It doesn’t get any riskier than that!

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    Andrew Sleeth  over 5 years ago

    OK, so women don’t like you. What about pigs?

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    johndifool  over 5 years ago

    “This is my iphone! I am in complete and total thrall to Apple Inc. and their questionable business and tech design practices!”

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    Alexander the Good Enough  over 5 years ago

    Once upon a time, a very bright woman friend with benefits explained it all for me. It seems that nice guys are simply boring. The bad boys are interesting and keep one’s attention because they are rather unpredictable, a little bit dangerous, and a challenge to control. Makes some sense, I guess, but…

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    Queen of America  over 5 years ago

    I never understood the “bad boy” draw some females have.

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    Zebrastripes  over 5 years ago

    PIG just doesn’t get it! Always traumatized, especially with RATS advice……

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    garcoa  over 5 years ago

    When introduced to a woman, Pig should start the conversation by saying that he always uses protection, then whip out his phone to show them.

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    chris_weaver  over 5 years ago

    Later on, Pig tries it at home!

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    Plods with ...™  over 5 years ago

    They don’t make that model any more.

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    prrdh  over 5 years ago

    As Tim Allen has observed, men are pigs. As a man pig, Pig is doubly so.

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    dadlivonia  over 5 years ago

    If it is a 10, don’t even bother looking – it is toast

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    Radish...   over 5 years ago

    Lots of women like bacon.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Try a dating app, Pig and just lie about yourself

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    dragonbite  over 5 years ago

    And then women wonder why they aren’t tender, follow rules or be safe.

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    DCBakerEsq  over 5 years ago

    I need a protective case for my life.

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    Chris Sherlock  over 5 years ago

    Might want to try an Android, Pig…with or without a case.

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    zeexenon  over 5 years ago

    Most like their men in pants, so I’ve been told. Being over 10 times past The Age Of Reason, I expect it’s true.

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    jvn  over 5 years ago

    I have drunk milk after the expiration date. The ladies love me… probably.

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    BubbleTape Premium Member over 5 years ago

    or maybe it is because you are a pig and you expect the beautiful women to want you. popular media seems to focus on idea of the beautiful woman falling for the dorky guy when the dorky guy isn’t open to falling for the dorky woman.

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    Nick Danger  over 5 years ago

    “Bad Boy Syndrome” lives, sadly.

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    Warhaft  over 5 years ago

    Reminds me of Frasier on “Cheers” trying to be a bad boy, running around the bar yelling “I am running…with scissors!”

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    Concretionist  over 5 years ago

    Pig is actually Joe Btfsplk.

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    Sisyphos  over 5 years ago

    Just give up, Pig. You are a Born Loser. The proof of that is Pigita (ugh!).

    Un-die Sweet Fanny!

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    robnvon  over 5 years ago

    From personal experience…Don’t worry, It probably still works. This is an easy if expensive way of discovering if your bar has a wood or tiled floor. If the nachos and stucco walls had not alerted you earlier, you will now know,

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    Ceeg22 Premium Member over 5 years ago

    I only like guys who have Otter Box

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