Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 13, 2019

And then he ate the delivery guy.

STEVE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUTTING A TIMMY FAILURE CHARECTER (Total the polar bear) IN PEARLS

Well, bears are omnivorous, so pigs and goats are not discarded as its food.

Just finished reading all the Pearls Before Swine Strips. Less of an ordeal than Atlas Shrugged.

oh, the bears’ll find a way, Pig

Maybe seals own Fox News and are promoting global warming.

And if it doesn’t make it to the North Pole within 30 minutes, it’s FREE!

The only solution for all this is that we bears need to take over the world from hyoomans!

Camille Paglia claimed that global warming doesn’t matter because polar bears can swim. (Poseur!)

The white walkers all died from global warming. And the dragons all got killed by heat sensing missiles. Don’t cha love happy endings?

Better seals, better pizza. Papa John’s.

Everywhere in the Arctic circles, seals are celebrating.

That’s a rather comfy looking coach to eat the delivery guy on.

Who said their fate is sealed?

So happy Stephan’s book (Timmy Failure) is getting adapted as a Disney movie next year!!

Grub Hub fee $5,000 …. Pizza $10 …… Croc Power !

I’ve told this tale before, in answer to how the polar bears will survive; but its worth repeating. My neighbor, a Canadian military pilot, relates that whenever a runway light burns out in one of the northern territories, the polar bears will lie in in the snow nearby, waiting for a maintenance worker; and they always cover their black nose a paw.

Let them eat pizza.

The ICE is melting at an alarming rate! The polar bears are struggling for food! The glaciers are made up of layers from each age. Each layer, there are embedded diseases, germs, plague matter. When those layers melt, what do you think will happen to all the bugs, germs, diseases? It will go into the lakes, oceans, air, streams, and once again we will have pandemics all over the world…..think about it! Educate, and research! Why are GOP and FOX cults nonbelievers in science when we have the Evidence? DUH

Hmmm. 43 comments already and it’s only six AM. Looks like you hit a nerve with this one, Pastis. Never a good idea to poke the bear.

Sorry but this isn’t the least bit funny. At my local zoo (Columbus OH) there is an excellent polar bear exhibit, and a sign that says “When the polar ice is gone, the polar bears will also be gone.”

IOW… They’ll adapt.

(For the sake of argument I’m assuming the polar bear population is NOT exploding as it currently is.)

…and in 1922’s Global Warming’s version the seals were the critters dying off! The ice melt, rapid sea rise, flooded cities were ALL the same and didn’t happen then either!

The truth: Left-CNN; Right-FOX. The real truth: Somewhere in between? Try not being a fanatic and I am sure you will find it.

wish I could find this funny. :-(

Wouldn’t the polar bear order the large pizza with an extra large deliverer?

TRUE STORY… more Polar bears than ever.

Researchers agree that polar bears represent a growing threat to Inuit communities, but say that is because climate change has pushed them closer to human settlements – not because the bear population is growing.

“There seems to be a divergence between scientists and Inuit on the threat that climate change poses to this species,” said Andrew Derocher, a polar bear researcher at the University of Alberta.

Scientists and conservation groups have warned that a warming climate has reduced sea ice and the availability of prey, pushing bears on to the mainland – and closer to humans.

But Inuit argue their own observations are often ignored, and the new report highlights a growing tension between scientific research and Inuit knowledge based on from thousands of years of living in the region.

“We know what we are doing, and western science and modelling has become too dominant,” wrote the Kitikmeot regional wildlife board as part of its submission to the report.

“Our knowledge, is not the same as thousands of years ago. If your life depended on it, you’d better know what the ice condition is,” said Gabriel Nirlungayuk, an Inuk hunter of Rankin Inlet. “Our knowledge has always evolved.”

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/nov/13/polar-bear-numbers-canadian-arctic-inuit-controversial-report

Gotta go with the floe.

Call Grub Hub, you get a better variety.

The thermal maximum of the Holocene has now been passed, at least in areas of the arctic where reconstruction of the historical record of our current epoch is possible. There is a small chance that these areas may NOT be representative of the overall geoclime of the arctic. If they are representative, however, the arctic is now – probably irreversibly – broken.

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-019-09622-y

take a look yourself

https://nunatsiaq.com/stories/article/google-offers-a-virtual-tour-of-nunavuts-devon-island/

“…With lots of anchovies.”

Seems like he could just get a frozen pizza.

I know this is a serious issue…but somehow the image of Thorton in Sherman’s Lagoon comes to mind.

That’s Trump’s solution. This dude is a Republican, I swear!

If it were only that simple.

Oh come on Stephen, Domino’s won’t even deliver to my neighborhood in San Francisco, let alone a melting ice sheet.

so you want no pizza, just the pepperoni??

And since the seals are mostly taken by the bear IN THE WATER, but eaten on the ice flows, I don’t see a big problem.

Total!!!!

The future protective provenance of polar bears foreseen.

Things are pretty bad when you have to order that $hit.

No seals to eat, but plenty of smartphones for ordering pizza delivery? Ain’t technology grand?!

They’re all gonna evolve into Pizzly Bears.

That’s not what they do.

Polar bears order anchovy pizza, which attracts seals. Then when the seals are drawn out by the smell of anchovy pizza, they strike!

https://nsidc.org/cryosphere/quickfacts/icesheets.html

Poor Total.

Generally I’m on board with Pastis. But the videos of starving bears has made it almost impossible to watch nature shows. So, in answer to pig, they aren’t going to survive.

Address?

Hey, is that Total? :O

shoulda gotten sausage