Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 02, 2019

Where’s the off switch?

I have never bought anything from Amazon and never will. The company is as destructive to our present civilization as Russian meddling.

Now, back to that “commitment” thing… Pigita, are you sure? I mean, he is a lazy, stupid fat pig, after all.

Where is a hammer when you need it?

Those aren’t people, Jeff; they’re pigs.

Ohh, Pig has a girlfriend

When it comes to Pigita and “commitment,” just remember that commitment is something that happens to crazy people…

Another sex scandal possibly brewing, this time with Alexa.

Who needs a wiretap or hacker when we freely give Suri and Alexa all of our confidential and personal information.

See how divorce devastates a man? Or maybe it was the alimony. :oP

Okay Google, shut him up!

If anyone is listening to my conversations, they will probably die of boredom.

Send that thing to the Croc household . Jeff will have a great time listening to those conversations ! …… Croc Power !

I just wonder what Bezos did to Pastis? Wrong shipment? Denied refund? The possibilities are perplexing!

And all the members of the alphabet soup club (NSA et alia) swear they’re no longer listening.

You know that the technology is there to scan your house and locate you sitting on the throne…

Poor Pigita! Pig just can’t make a commitment….and UNPLUG JEFF! !

I’ll never own one of those things.

HAL 9000

Didn’t Bezos just get a divorce? I’m not surprised he said that, really.

…With his divorce and the lawsuit against the Enquirer he needs an extra gig!

If you could, would you listen in on Jeff?

Jeff is all primed.

0$ taxes paid.$129 million refund.WTF is wrong with this picture ;(

Oh, if it was that easy….

Mr. Bezos: If you’re reading these comments, I don’t think it is the least bit funny. Please don’t cancel my Prime membership!

I’m elderly, live alone, and have very few electronic devices. So if Big Brother is watching me, he really needs to get out more.

Well, golly gee, Jeffy’s only trying to help!

Throw that thing in the nearest river, Pig. Or just give it to Rat and he’ll bash it to pieces with a hammer. Or worse, put in Neighbor Bob’s house

My Echo Plus responds to the TV so I moved it from the living room, BUT it still randomly says stuff which I can’t hear…AND I replaced all the smart bulbs because THAT is so much more annoying than turning the light on manually, so, yeah, practically useless…

cool

I cannot even begin to imagine wanting one of those things. Guess I’m getting to be an old f*rt.

I thought I would never say this, but Jeff is right!

Go away, Pigita. You’re ruining Pig’s life (such as it is)….

Dr. Evil, Lord Bezos is a jealous master.

Pigita is a violent monster. He should never see o talk to her again.