Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for January 16, 2011

Remember those days? Today you’re lucky to get a 1% return on a CD.

They don’t edit the finanacial section.

Gweedo, the colors look the same as at the Shoe website.

When life makes toast, get the butter.

And the money you had in the bank is now burnt crumbs.

I keep my money in a #2 mayonnaise jar under Funk and Wagnall’s porch. If it was good enough for Carnac…

It’s not toast; it just got “reorganized” and taken over by the Feds.

I guess the toasters went the same direction as the trading stamps from the gas station.

They’re not reading the Tattler. Notice the section titles: Sports, State, Doom, Gloom. All the unfit news to print.

i bought a toaster and they gave me a bank.

And with the inflation rate at 14%… (Yes, it is. Do the math. And use the correct “market basket”, because the “new” one is mostly irrelevant.)

Why did banks give toasters, why not waffle irons or coffee makers???

…just another long, painful, drawn-out pun. It loses the humor that way.