Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 04, 2019

Mississippi?

Jef, you need us fatties to pay the taxes for your bike lanes.

If I might make a suggestion, Jef, but how about deport fatties to the community gyms?

Hawaii. I’m not insulting Hawaiians. It is just that if I get deported, I might as well name someplace I like.

Shouldn’t you be RIDING for mayor, Jeff??

To get elected, Jef will need to really motivate his base!

Give Cyclist Jef a new black racing suit with white lightning stripes, then suggest to him to visit the Crocs.

I hate all bicyclists over 12 years old.

booooooooooooooooooo

I downloaded a step app called Pacer. Turns out the mascot is Pacer Jeff. When it sends me a message, I always think of this Jef.

I think Jeff’s ilk have taken over the administration of the nearest city. They’re proposing clogging the small streets with bike lanes. That place will be hell to get through. I pity truck drivers trying to follow the state routes through that town.

Speaking as a fat unmotivated cyclist, I find this somewhat confusing.

Jeff, Venezuala is a excellent place for those needing weight loss!

I think Jef was referring to PIG! don’t ya think?

Jef needs to be re-cycled.

Rat get the Rat-Bat and Gibbs’s this Jef with one f…… repeatedly ! ………….. Croc Power !

Stefan must have really been wronged by some cyclist(s).

put a tariff on sugar

definitely USA.

probably Philly?

In this case, deport him to the nearest BBQ.

Congress!

And another vote for the ignore commenter function.

The White House?

Golden Corral

Somehow, my tricycle avatar seems out-of-place :D

How about Washington as a congressional representative

If he becomes mayor, he’ll finally be that big wheel he always dreamed about.

Washington, DC

Is he riding on a, Bike lanes for everyone! ticket?

The Ben & Jerry’s island.. !!!! lol

Jef has been talking to the last few mayors of Seattle.

Just have some patience. They’ll send themselves to an early grave.

Change all the streets to bike lanes and walkways, and they’ll self-deport.

Washington

Jef needs only look around him right here in Michigan.

Jef is on to something – with regards to improving the life of cyclists. Doing so means more cyclist, which then means less cars and thus more space for those that chose to drive in cars. And on top of that it is good for the air quality in the city, the health of those that cycle and more – so everybody wins except the car salesmen.

Congress…duh

LA?

Methinks Jef voted for trump.

I know many cyclists who are good and decent people, but then there are those who ride 2 or 3 beside each other in the bicycle lane forcing cars to swerve into the oncoming lane risking head on collisions, and then who flip you off when you complain. Jef is one of those.

No, the Senate. That way they can count on a pension and guaranteed health benefits.

If you change “cyclists” to “druggies” and “deportation” to “typhus” or “bubonic plague”, you’ll have Los Angeles or San Francisco.

Congress.

To the White House?

I’m thinking Amsterdam. It’s like hell for non-cyclists.

Jef needs to watch the documentary, Backpedal. The city of which it’s a subject, Charleston, S.C., essentially ran off the city planning manager (himself a cyclist) its lazy, unmotivated, car-dependent citizens were so hostile to bicycles.

N. Korea..?

I have to admit, I resent all the growth around here not just because of the bulldozed farms and forests, but because the formerly deserted roads are now becoming heavily trafficked, which makes biking less fun and more dangerous.

I like Jef plan. If he will prohibited the use of cars in city centers, making it possible to access only by bicycle, I would support him.

The White House?

Apparently to the Reich House….

I bet Jef’s middle name is Gregg.

As a native son of the Magnolia State, I invite you to come to Mississippi and just try to keep up with this old (72) guy working in the 95 degree heat and 100% humidity. We’ll see who’s fat.

Does Pastis live in Alexandria, Virginia? Because our mayor is a serious bicyclist who wants bike lanes everywhere; he’s currently supporting a plan to reduce the lanes in a major arterial road – which goes past a HOSPITAL! – to accommodate bike lanes. Residents are furious, but with a compliant city council and transportation-and-environmental-services department, those lanes are coming.

This strip is getting wide circulation today around Alexandria’s neighborhood community associations.

Am I the only one with this problem, every time I touch the pearls icon peanuts immediately lights up. If I want to read peanuts,I’ll fucking well read peanuts!

Lower Slobovia of course! (thanx Al Capp)

The White House.

Jef the Cyclist is a loser! No town could be stupid enough to elect him its mayor; or could it? What a horrible thought! Vigilante justice for cocky bicyclists!

I’m Don the real-estate mogul, and I’m running for president…

Buffalo