I worked for years at a retirement community, Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease. A lot of times those suffering with it could get some moments of clarity by listening to music they had loved in their earlier days. It was nice to see some joy on their faces.
My mother had dementia which was close to Alzheimer’s. My father was still alive and I had a caretaker for them both at home. It was trying even so. I would say get her a companion. Being at home is more comforting than an institution and cheaper.
Thank you for starting this conversation. I am dealing with this also with my mom. However my mom is highly functional. House is clean, bathes and dresses herself and still drives( to doctors appointments and church). She doesn’t want a companion because she feels that she would have to entertain them. She lives at an adult independent living retirement facility. She is very forgetful. Her friends and nurses keep telling me she needs help. Any suggestions?
As a former Adult Protective Services unit supervisor, I thank you for highlighting the importance of diagnosis in care planning, Mr. Rall. While Alzheimer’s disease is responsible for around 2/3rds of dementia cases, guessing at it has a one in three chance of being wrong, and both manifestations and progression may be far different for that one third.
I know this is a painful and difficult area because I lived through it with my father who died young but had destroyed his mind with gin. Fortunately, my mother, whom I think about every day was fairly lucid until the morphine took over. As mourdac wisely notes above, you can’t take care of others unless you take care of yourself. I’m learning that lesson the hard way as I dislocated my hip replacement twice trying to do too much too soon. My wife is worse off than me because she doesn’t take care of herself (even though she is much younger than me) and we have three very active boys ten and younger. My boys are going to do more for me this summer than I will for them or I will whack them with my cane. After everything is resolved, I will take better care of myself if only to live long enough to become a burden to my children when I’m really old. It might be almost a cliché, but it really does take a village.
Being bilingual seems to be a help in cases of dementia in keeping function going. Maybe a French/English bilingual health care aide would be of help? It might also reduce the anxiety to maintain better function, as there would be increased chance of communication. There is also the role of optimizing hearing and sight to slowing the progress of dementia.
FWIW: My mother had non-Alzhimers dementia, very likely as a result of many mini-strokes. She eventually died from other ailments of aging (heart, kidney and gut troubles). Music was a pleasure for her, right up to the end.
A close friend of mine’s mother had dementia. Their emotional level is reduced to a 2 year old with loud tantrums. Made it very hard for her. By the time she found a home for her mom the mom died within 2 weeks.
billcor about 5 years ago
great. the punchline’s in french
fullmoondeb Premium Member about 5 years ago
I worked for years at a retirement community, Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease. A lot of times those suffering with it could get some moments of clarity by listening to music they had loved in their earlier days. It was nice to see some joy on their faces.
NeedaChuckle Premium Member about 5 years ago
My mother had dementia which was close to Alzheimer’s. My father was still alive and I had a caretaker for them both at home. It was trying even so. I would say get her a companion. Being at home is more comforting than an institution and cheaper.
wolfhoundblues1 about 5 years ago
Thank you for starting this conversation. I am dealing with this also with my mom. However my mom is highly functional. House is clean, bathes and dresses herself and still drives( to doctors appointments and church). She doesn’t want a companion because she feels that she would have to entertain them. She lives at an adult independent living retirement facility. She is very forgetful. Her friends and nurses keep telling me she needs help. Any suggestions?
pc368dude about 5 years ago
As a former Adult Protective Services unit supervisor, I thank you for highlighting the importance of diagnosis in care planning, Mr. Rall. While Alzheimer’s disease is responsible for around 2/3rds of dementia cases, guessing at it has a one in three chance of being wrong, and both manifestations and progression may be far different for that one third.
mourdac Premium Member about 5 years ago
It was hard enough to take care of aging relatives who don’t suffer from dementia/Alzheimer’s. Take care of yourself also during this process.
Cerabooge about 5 years ago
My wife volunteers at a nursing home, and dementia is frighteningly common there.
mattro65 about 5 years ago
I know this is a painful and difficult area because I lived through it with my father who died young but had destroyed his mind with gin. Fortunately, my mother, whom I think about every day was fairly lucid until the morphine took over. As mourdac wisely notes above, you can’t take care of others unless you take care of yourself. I’m learning that lesson the hard way as I dislocated my hip replacement twice trying to do too much too soon. My wife is worse off than me because she doesn’t take care of herself (even though she is much younger than me) and we have three very active boys ten and younger. My boys are going to do more for me this summer than I will for them or I will whack them with my cane. After everything is resolved, I will take better care of myself if only to live long enough to become a burden to my children when I’m really old. It might be almost a cliché, but it really does take a village.
martens about 5 years ago
Being bilingual seems to be a help in cases of dementia in keeping function going. Maybe a French/English bilingual health care aide would be of help? It might also reduce the anxiety to maintain better function, as there would be increased chance of communication. There is also the role of optimizing hearing and sight to slowing the progress of dementia.
William A Short Premium Member about 5 years ago
Alzheimer jokes are not funny.
mr_sherman Premium Member about 5 years ago
Ted,
Thank you for sharing this.
willie_mctell about 5 years ago
On doit faire de son mieux. C’est difficile souvent.
Scoutmaster77 about 5 years ago
I’m going through this with my mom. It’s tough on everyone.
robnvon Premium Member about 5 years ago
This is a touching, brave, and illuminating series. Thank you for sharing it.
Concretionist about 5 years ago
FWIW: My mother had non-Alzhimers dementia, very likely as a result of many mini-strokes. She eventually died from other ailments of aging (heart, kidney and gut troubles). Music was a pleasure for her, right up to the end.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] about 5 years ago
A close friend of mine’s mother had dementia. Their emotional level is reduced to a 2 year old with loud tantrums. Made it very hard for her. By the time she found a home for her mom the mom died within 2 weeks.
WilhelmGere about 5 years ago
We all get confused a lot :(
John Seifarth Premium Member about 5 years ago
Ted, de tout mon coeur, je suis avec toi et ta maman.