That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 18, 2019

The dog knew it was inappropriate, but he just couldn’t stop looking.

After all that effort to get on, he was now being told he is on the wrong horse.

Oh, climb down off your high horse.

My LITTLE Pony !

“Where’s the women’s beach volleyball game?”

Why don’t they put back up cameras on these things.

Tony’s first (and last) horseback riding lesson: Mom? What do I do now? Mom? Don’t leave me up here!

“Don’t even think about it, dog. He’d break your back.”

But father, I don’t want to ride a horse. I want to . . . SING!

“Horse pointing out fly on his flank that rider is completely ignoring that has been there for like a WHOLE minute now and is biting him.”

Sundance tried to do his best over-the-shoulder forelock toss for the painting, but little miss fancy britches just kept getting in the way.

“Portrait of Two ’Horse’s Asses’ at the Beach” (Dog to Horse: “Why don’t you dump that twerp, and we’ll blow this joint ?”)

Astride the magnificent mare/ with his proud and imperious stare/ he knows not that he’ll land/ on his ass in the sand/ when the beasts independence declare.

(Horse to dog) “Does this boy make my butt look big?”

been there, done that, annoyed the horse

Rode without a saddle when I was a kid. Our horse was very experienced, she knew exactly what to do when I led her up to the rock so I could get on. She waited until I was almost ready, then would step away just a bit, looking innocently off into the distance. Maddening for me, I suppose a lot of fun for her.

(Horse thinking) " If that damn dog gets any closer, I’m gonna kick him into the middle of next week and toss Little Lord Fauntleroy right on his spoiled kiester. "

So this is the north end of a south bound mule….but wait, this isn’t a mule and I have no idea which direction I’m heading!

I told you to bring a bigger plastic bag Flunky. Just put it in your pockets and come along!

Boy trying to figure out which is the south end of a north bound horse….

No, that’s not what I meant when I told you to play with your hobby horse!

“_Portrait of Gaëtan de Somzée on horseback_ "

And we all know how young Gaëtan de Somzée turned out!

“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!”

Everybody keeps telling me “Candy for the Dandy” … what else did you expect me to name the horse?

Yeah, this one’s OK. But I think the palomino sets off my features better.

stupid Marsha, not knowing a dog from fox. said I got the fox right here, why are they all running I other direction?

Many years ago, I was riding my half-sister’s horse. I pulled hard on the reins, trying to get it to stop, and instead, I shifted it into reverse, and backed it into the fence. It threw me. Well, more like I slide off to one side. But still quite scary. They made me get back on, and explained that it was trained to respond to light touch of the reins for things like turning and stopping.

Back in the late ’60’s, my girlfriend’s sister suggested we go horse riding, as this farmer would rent you horses and a guide so you could ride along a path near Patapsco State Park. My horse intuitively knew that I was no horseman, so he slowly trotted over to a tree that had a branch low enough for him to duck under, figuring I’d fall off. Instead, I looped the reins around the horn, ducked down to his right and avoided being peeled off. When he cleared the arbors, I pulled myself upright, patted his neck and softly assured him that I was still there.

He was still the boss, and he took his time with me as we lagged behind the group. Every now and then the guide would call his name, and he’d slowly trot up to the group, and I think he was unaware that he made me look good to my girl (to whom I’m married, and have been for over 45 years). So I’m glad I grew up idolizing Hopalong Cassidy, Gene Autry, and Roy Rogers, and so many other “trick riders” that made me look good that day.

The Frisco Kid (1979): “Well, you keep your eyes on this tuchas, and don’t take them off ’till I tell you!”

Tommy fails parallel parking.