Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 31, 2021
Transcript:
Your Guide to Xmas Trees Pig! Old Growth Behemoth Fir Needs a high ceiling. May contain irate Earth Firsters. Longleaf Evershed High maintenance. Denudes & regenerates hourly. Extra-Resinous Balsam A sap fancier's delight. Hard to pry off of car. Hey, my sandwich fell apart. Carniferous Spruce Self-sufficient. Likes children. Will make do with pets. Car Freshener Somewhat pathetic. And it smells fakey. Sandwich Toothpick Extremely pathetic yet undeniably festive.
Cpeckbourlioux over 3 years ago
Etremely oops.
DCBakerEsq over 3 years ago
All this talk of Christmas trees has really put me in the mood for …
Mayor Snorkum over 3 years ago
Did he mean “carnivorous,” meaning it eats meat, or “carniferous,” meaning it brings meat along with it? If it’ll bring me a Porterhouse, I’ll buy it.
Sisyphos over 3 years ago
I think I’ve got one or two of those fancy sandwich toothpicks somewhere. Maybe I’ll celebrate half-Christmas in a few weeks….
Now if only I had an appropriate gift catalogue….