Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 07, 2019

This is what happens when you listen to Secretary Rick Perry.

He should have invested in the blockchain of Bitcoin.

He went from having a tin ear to having a tin cup.

I understood Sheldon Cooper and the guys better than I can figure out what that gibberish says.

Your career package has been rebalanced and your options were rotated.

I always found it smarter to simply nod and stay quiet when people were blathering in that mode. Then go back to adding actual value, by doing actual work, that created things that the company could actually sell for actual money. Almost all the blather eventually went away, along with the blatherers (and was replaced by blather that used different words to say the same amount of nothing). I did enjoy the fad of having stand up meetings. And “Agile” worked pretty well as long as the group (and the tools) were able to cope with the reality of discovering trouble part way into the development process.

Someday I expect to see some guy in a Star Trek uniform in this spot with a sign that reads “modulated my shield frequencies when I should have reversed my field polarity”.

The only phrase that really matters in the corporate world language is “maximize profits”. Everything else is baloney.

He should have got the APP for that

Didn’t they ’splain to ya?

“If you can’t dazzle them with diamonds, baffle them with bulls***!”

It means you’ve been aged out

Except for suit colors, these guys could be looking at the before and after of themselves.

If you want to see this kind of drivel, look at people’s resumes or their Linked-in profiles.

corporate philosophy written in obfuscatory terminology and digital moats in the form of long phone menus protect the inner sanctums of the 1%. That poor mutt had probably reached about 5.5% when he finally caved.

It means he’s over 23 yrs old.

This all goes back to the seven habits of highly effective people—one must proactively leverage one’s synergies into win-win solutions…

In my first real job I maximized product placement which increased consumer consumption and corporate profits with minimum investment in time and money.

i.e. I worked in a grocery store stocking shelves for minimum wage after school.

And the band plays on ;(

I hear ya, bro.

Throw corporate executives at the wall, and if they don’t stick, throw them HARDER!

Well there’s going to be a lot of that since that Paradigm shift destroys quite a few Business Models.

This comic makes more sense than just about everything I’ve read lately. ;D

There’s only one thing worse than being stuck in a room full of computer development engineers, and that’s being in a room full of business marketing mavens.

I think it means failed to intrinsically create long-term high-impact functionalities, or perhaps didn’t rapidiously mesh accurate methods of empowerment, or possibly even was slow to energistically develop enterprise potentialities…

An existential problem with transactional issues.

Translation: He couldn’t change with the times.

After a couple of years of board meetings I put together a Buzzword Bingo sheet and once almost shouted “Bingo!” because it was flowing fast and thick.

I hate corporate speak. Read any LinkedIn bio which uses such terminology and you’ll find a corporate jerk only looking out for themselves, those who outline themselves with a concise and succinct bio, are the ones who are loyal and will actually make a difference with a company.

Don’t know what that means, either. ;)

It means more profit for the company while providing less to the customer.

His real problem is that he never realized it was all just a Bluff that meant Nothing except as a smokescreen to identify people who could be Bluffed out of their Bonus Checks.

(i.e. RIFed)

His absconded ceramic coffee mug, his last grasp of personal justice and dignity.