Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 06, 2019

Dig the hole deeper so there’s less chance of him getting out

At least it’s a start.

Press (garbled static) if you want to go to heaven. Otherwise, we’ll direct you to Hell’s operator.

The poor souls in hell or heaven.

Shouldn’t this be set in India?

Make sure there isn’t a ’phone line in there when you backfill.

I used to discuss life choices with — or at least “at” — telemarketers. Now I just hang up. Though, in truth, it’s very very seldom a live marketer.

So, gravedigger, no loss, then.

Good!

Love Caller ID! If I don’t recognize number, don’t answer. But now they are spoofing numbers so they display as other things. Evil.

Pinpoint bomb boiler rooms.

Or the FCC Chairman. There’s a funeral I’d ignore on TV.

If the corpse was a robo-call developer the mat should read “Got to Hell” instead of “Welcome”.

I believe the hole must be at least 12 feet deep. Because, deep deep down, telemarketers are good people.

Huh. I rarely get calls from telemarketers. OTH, non profits and politicians. . .

This number called me about 4-6 times a day for months! So I decided to call THEM back! it was a foreign voice and said Social Security Administration! HA! SCAM! I told him to stop calling my number…but to no avail….called back the same day….the problem is robo calls and always recordings…..ATT was supposed to monitor scam calls but I still get at least 20 or more a day on my land line and cell.

THANK GOD for Caller I.D.!! If I don’t recognize the name or number on my I.D., it goes right to voicemail, unless I just click on and off.

I’m surprised they’re not installing a cubicle around it.

I answer unknown phone numbers with “Sherrif’s department-Fraud division” and they hang up.

They’re probably going to bury him right at dinner time!

I attended a grave-side funeral service several years ago, and as I passed one grave, a bit of phone cable was sticking out of the ground on the grave. Didn’t stop to look further. I walked faster. It was one of the funniest and creepiest things I’ve ever seen.

“I am contacting you about your car’s warranty”

Why is there a Welcome mat? Who would welcome a Telemarketer???? Even on the other side?

It should be possible now to release a book of Non Sequitur comics consisting entirely of people standing at graves. I’d buy it.

I’m still waiting to be arrested for my fraudulent SS activity! I had three coming once in one day, LOL

On 1 September in Texas it became a crime – with possible time in prison – to use a spoofed number for commercial purposes. I’ve been passing this along to the minimum wage employees working in those call centers when I get those calls and asking if maybe going to prison was mentioned when they were hired.

Waiting for a Danae appearance, Wiley!

Hello, I have great news about refinancing the mortgage on your grave.

Good.

Telemarketers don’t come to the front door.

Good riddance to a serious pest.

Mom wasn’t a telemarketer but she spent so much time on the telephone that at her funeral, the priest (a cousin) giving the tribute to her, joked that the family was thinking of burying her with a phone in her hand.

I could leave soooo many posts about dead telemarketers, but they’d all be crass and close enough to the truth to not be funny. ; )

As an old guy who has had the same land-line for 20 years (with caller ID and recording), the big change for me was from actual, live telemarketers to those made entirely by machines. One can no longer take a minute to dissuade some poor caller at minimum wage to give it up. Meanwhile, the calls have increased, even as they have become more scary to the innocent; this is paralleled in junk mail. In the last year, at least many drop it after hitting the answering machine. I only pickup & kill the few who will go on to leave lengthy messages.

If I rent, no, I don’t want roofing. If I have paid my student loan (mine was 40 years ago), I don’t need help. If I have only zero interest debit cards, I don’t need a new deal for credit cards. I refuse to change my machine greeting to reflect that, as I’m quite certain it would be ignored by their machine. I haven’t had an actual sales rep “cold call” for some time, which I would prefer. Then I could either chat amiably, or make a plausible threat. Ah, the good old days…

The Bible if anyone reads it says you have to wait not only for Joshua to come down after the Big War. Then rule for a 1000 years then the 2nd Resurrection. But only if you want to. Most seem to think instant gratification happens instead. Either a red hole down or golden light up.

That one’s for the U.S. Constitution if the next election goes bad again.

Where are the Party Hats?

No telemarketer goes to heaven!

Old telemarketers never die. They’re simply placed on permanent hold.