Reality Check by Dave Whamond for April 21, 2020

Shhhhhhh!

Now THAT is a Reality Check.

Damn your Vulcan logic!

I had a boss we swore poured whiskey on his cornflakes…

We had to be careful if we ever got into a conversation with him… If we inhaled the whiskey fumes from his mouth… we’d be over the limit to drive his lorries…

OK. it’s not 5:00 ANYWHERE. It is 5:49 somewhere, though.

“The beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad,So I had one more for dessert.”

No. On a “flat Earth” it’s 5:00 p.m. everywhere.

“I told myself that I should stop drinking, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk that talks to himself”…

The TV just told me I should add a cold Silver Bullet to my breakfast routine.

Pray tell WHO made up these rules about when you can consume alcohol? Some teetotaler I imagine from a time before people truly understood the term ‘rights’.

It’s okay, I’m not driving…

It’s not the first thing if it is a continuation of last night.. strategic drinking is what is needed at this time.

“ You know your an alcoholic if you set the alarm to wake up and take a drink at 3 am”. The alcoholic’s response: “ But, people wake up early to go fishing!”

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start early in the morning.

Just got home from golfing and frustrated that the greens are a foot deep.

Or you’re a pirate.

Oh no, Ralph’s been framed.

He must have had a few drinks when he propose.