If people actually lived every day as though it were their last, absolutely nothing would get done. Everybody would be too busy taking drugs, having sex, crying, and praying.
Having reached the age where any given day could, in fact, be my last, and looking back over my life, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that platitudes like this are simply useless. I’ve done, and each day I try to do, my best. But the trash needs emptying, the bills need paying, the yard needs mowing, usque ad infinitum. But having said that, if I make a stranger smile or do something nice for someone without them knowing it was me, it’s been a pretty good day. Even if it turns out to be my last. At least, I tried.
I think in general, if any of us knew for certain this was the last day of our life we would live it differently. I mean, I have so many Netflix I’d have to multi-binge-watch. No seriously, I believe it would be spent taking a final shower, dressing nicely, dumping the bodies we hid in the basement, doing the dishes so we don’t leave those behind, getting our will in order, finishing our latest Netflix binge, make sure we’re caught up on today’s Go-Comics, atheists suddenly converting just in case, curse whatever is responsible for our untimely demise, eat a full large-bar of chocolate and ignore the calories, enjoy that final hot dog, see just exactly how fast our car can go down the highway, thank our best friend for being there always, write a totally bonkers letter to the FBI because you know you always wanted to, donate all your remaining funds to an actual legitimate charity, sit in a chair and think about your life, play one final game of Klondike solitaire, make sure your browser is empty (wait, that would probably be one of the earlier things, cos you really don’t want your friends to find out that you— the cat hater— actually watched cute cat videos regularly), hope we didn’t subconsciously put something damaging in our bucket list, and finally after all these years try to… urgh!!!…
brings me back to Office Space. “what would you do if you had a million dollars (besides two chicks at the same time)” “if that was right there would be no janitors because nobody would be cleaning $t if they had a million dollars”
People take these things way to literally. It is simply a suggestion to think about your life in terms of what is fulfilling to you, instead of wallowing in misery and remaining stuck in a rut discontent. Many people are too comfortable in despair and refuse to consider hope and change.
71 people wrote comments here ahead of me and not one made the obvious choice — Would I want to do what I am about to do today? No, I do not wish to die today.
That’s actually why I hate these things. If I were going to die tomorrow, why would I go grocery shopping, pay a bill in advance, go to the doctor, etc.? The question isn’t as helpful as many people make out.
BE THIS GUY over 4 years ago
What would this naked Pig need to get dry cleaned?
DanielRyanMulligan over 4 years ago
there is NEVER a need to pick up dry cleaning
B UTTONS over 4 years ago
Pig, you’re over thinking this. Take Goat’s advice – start over, go back to bed.
Orcatime over 4 years ago
Steve Jobs also had the means to not HAVE to worry about the mundane.
Sherlock Watson over 4 years ago
So… the ideal life for me is running around shooting everyone I hate?
gopher gofer over 4 years ago
i’d like to have advance notice so i could schedule a party…
some idiot from R'lyeh Premium Member over 4 years ago
I’d probably be spending some time wishing I’d sought better cancer treatments.
Troglodyte over 4 years ago
Pig is no Steve Jobs to begin with…
Kind&Kinder over 4 years ago
To quote the Rabbi in Northern Exposure, “When you don’t know where you’re going, any path will get you there.”
Procat Premium Member over 4 years ago
His see thru nightie!
nosirrom over 4 years ago
Nope. If I knew I’d want to do something other than working on my tax returns.
RobinHood over 4 years ago
Steve Jobs was a great innovator, but as a philosopher he seemed to be lacking
The Joke Explainer Premium Member over 4 years ago
That was always the issue I had with Job’s test. The answer – even though I love what I do – would always be skip work and do something else.
sixam over 4 years ago
If you stand on the edge of a cliff like that, it may turn out to be the last day of your life.
captcredit over 4 years ago
His blanket?
SusieB over 4 years ago
Hell no!
tom.amitai over 4 years ago
If people actually lived every day as though it were their last, absolutely nothing would get done. Everybody would be too busy taking drugs, having sex, crying, and praying.
Bookworm over 4 years ago
Having reached the age where any given day could, in fact, be my last, and looking back over my life, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that platitudes like this are simply useless. I’ve done, and each day I try to do, my best. But the trash needs emptying, the bills need paying, the yard needs mowing, usque ad infinitum. But having said that, if I make a stranger smile or do something nice for someone without them knowing it was me, it’s been a pretty good day. Even if it turns out to be my last. At least, I tried.
Ellis97 over 4 years ago
What dry cleaning? He doesn’t even wear clothes.
Zebrastripes over 4 years ago
Poor PIG! Always so confused
willie_mctell over 4 years ago
Jobs was a great salesman and neither a tech whiz nor a nice guy.
Snoots over 4 years ago
I think in general, if any of us knew for certain this was the last day of our life we would live it differently. I mean, I have so many Netflix I’d have to multi-binge-watch. No seriously, I believe it would be spent taking a final shower, dressing nicely, dumping the bodies we hid in the basement, doing the dishes so we don’t leave those behind, getting our will in order, finishing our latest Netflix binge, make sure we’re caught up on today’s Go-Comics, atheists suddenly converting just in case, curse whatever is responsible for our untimely demise, eat a full large-bar of chocolate and ignore the calories, enjoy that final hot dog, see just exactly how fast our car can go down the highway, thank our best friend for being there always, write a totally bonkers letter to the FBI because you know you always wanted to, donate all your remaining funds to an actual legitimate charity, sit in a chair and think about your life, play one final game of Klondike solitaire, make sure your browser is empty (wait, that would probably be one of the earlier things, cos you really don’t want your friends to find out that you— the cat hater— actually watched cute cat videos regularly), hope we didn’t subconsciously put something damaging in our bucket list, and finally after all these years try to… urgh!!!…
DCBakerEsq over 4 years ago
If today is the first day of the rest of my life, then what was yesterday?
redback over 4 years ago
brings me back to Office Space. “what would you do if you had a million dollars (besides two chicks at the same time)” “if that was right there would be no janitors because nobody would be cleaning $t if they had a million dollars”
MartinPerry1 over 4 years ago
Once again, Jobs copied a concept from someone else. This is actually Nietzsche’s Eternal Recurrence.
zeexenon over 4 years ago
Well, I’m proud to say I took the path less traveled by…and that made all the difference….
Buoy over 4 years ago
People take these things way to literally. It is simply a suggestion to think about your life in terms of what is fulfilling to you, instead of wallowing in misery and remaining stuck in a rut discontent. Many people are too comfortable in despair and refuse to consider hope and change.
Doug Kimbler over 4 years ago
probably a towel, like Donald duck (insert trademark). Donald may run around without pants, but he always wraps up in a towel after a shower.
Kveldulf over 4 years ago
71 people wrote comments here ahead of me and not one made the obvious choice — Would I want to do what I am about to do today? No, I do not wish to die today.
Breadboard over 4 years ago
Hoka Hey ! …. Croc Power !
athikers over 4 years ago
It’s all psycho babble.
Sisyphos over 4 years ago
Perturbed Pig perambulates perilously ’pon precipice path…. Ptooey!
Ermine Notyours over 4 years ago
It looks like they’re standing on a large green Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.
CalLadyQED over 4 years ago
That’s actually why I hate these things. If I were going to die tomorrow, why would I go grocery shopping, pay a bill in advance, go to the doctor, etc.? The question isn’t as helpful as many people make out.
BlakeSarnecki over 4 years ago
I got the 300th like!