Pickles by Brian Crane for March 10, 2020

Open the front door, Snoopy wants some too.

Sneaky, but not quite enough.

Heh, I’ve learned to open a pack of M&M’s in complete silence. :D :D :D

Even my birds come looking when I rattle a wrapper, hardly ever something they want but they gotta make sure.

This reminds me of an episode of “The Lucy Show”. Lucy and Vivian were sleeping in their sons’ bedroom in bunk beds (I don’t remember why they were in the boys’ bedroom or where the boys were, though. I haven’t seen that show lately). Viv was settled in the bottom bunk and Lucy was trying to get into the top bunk with no ladder to access it. She made all kinds of noise trying to get into the bed using stilts and none of that noise bother Viv’s slumber. But then when Lucy opened a bag of potato chips, Viv was instantly awake, demanding to know. “What are you eating?”

Apparently the cat’s been giving some pointers!

“OK, everyone passed the hearing test.”

I don’t think the whole neighborhood showed up, Opal. I don’t see the cat.

They just want to see if you’ve got one for everybody.

I’m reminded of grampa who couldn’t hear you mention a chore if you yelled it in his ear, but if you went into the basement, closed the door, stuck your head into the coal bin and whispered “whiskey” he’d get there from his attic bedroom before you could draw another breath.

Of course not, Opal! That would just be crazy!

No, Roscoe, chocolate is not good for dogs.

Opal, hope you have enough for everyone!

Now if you could get them to move that fast for other things, Opal!

Deer like junk food too — http://www.hsv-life.com/deer%20wanting%20crackers.jpg

Gasp! Opal! ….and you yell at Earl for cookie crumbs in the couch?

But why is she eating purse candy at home?

Home is where you keep that stashed bag of M&M’s or Dove chocolate hearts from a post-Valentine’s Day clearance sale….

hidden from Earl, of course, cos he’d eat it all in one sitting.

 

Purse candy is the last few mini Hershey bars, which you hid in your purse when you were going to the yarn shop, but you forgot about them.

You leave it there, so you’ll find it when you’re having a chocolate emergency, like maybe you’re stuck in line at the Post Office….

you don’t eat it at home where you have other sources.

 

Of course, at home you don’t bring out the whole bag…. just a couple of pieces.

If Nelson or Earl catch you eating it… then you tell them it was purse candy.

 

Don’t get me wrong… I’m very honest… and faithful and true.

I really don’t believe in lying….

I just make three exceptions:

one for telling little kids there’s a Santa Claus… (if that really isn’t true)…

the second for when you really have to tell a good friend you love her new haircut… or dress… or boyfriend.

and the third for denying to men that you have any more chocolate.

She’s an old lady, so it’s probably a hard candy butterscotch.

Where’s the cat? Mine insists on chewing the corners of candy wrappers. . .and if I can’t get the away from her fast enough, she’ll swallow some. Then, of course, in a few minutes, it’s clean-up time.

she even wore her bunny slippers so she wouldn’t be caught

I can’t get in the pantry in the evening without my wife and dogs wondering what I’m eating.

Use the bathroom.. lock the door.. run the shower and flush, ignore the knocking and enjoy your candy. Another solution that works for ladies is to unwrap in the store and store the unwrapped candy in your purse. Men can use their pockets.. but come laundry time that gets messy.

Ms. Candyman, lol!

Not if it’s chocolate, you can’t.

Thank goodness for “crinkle” or I would have been totally lost. Does Phydeaux like dark chocolate?

Not in my house. Opening candy or food packages brings out people we didn’t even know were home.

Reminds me of my cats and dogs who would come from nowhere when I crinkled the snack bag!

Like taking a bag of lunch meat out. I try real hard to open it silently, but the dog and cat invariably show up before I remove the first slice.

Opal next time you need Earl to do something now you know how to “CALL” him ;-)

“If you open it, they will come!”