Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 21, 2020

Now there’s no TP, and you can’t get with in 6 feet of somebody’s house.

Waste not want not pig

There was once a man who valued the stuff so highly that he constantly told others not to squeeze it.

If we had only known, we would’ve put tp in those time capsules.

when my nephew becomes old enough to talk (he’ll be 16 months old on Wednesday), I can hardly wait to hear what his father (my brother) will say what he and I used to play as children

… time to call the hoarding and waste police!

Silly. Value changes with situation.

What a World. T. P. is valuable and fuel is worthless.

I hear the PowerBall Jackpot is up to an 18 pack of Charmin.

If you don’t TP trees, what are giant monsters going to use?

I ain’t worried! I gots my AR-15 and a thousand rounds of ammo. That’s protection! I hear’s them little corona buggers likes ta swarm, but I’s a good shot I am! An when my good buddy Mr. Trump gits me another $1,200, boy howdy thats another AR an another thousand rounds! Sweet! Ain’t nobody gonna take MY TP! Jest let ‘em try!

Where’s that Y2K TP?

ah, i remember it well… the question on halloween was always, TP or not TP…

What a waste of paper, if you ask us Indians… :D

And this also shall pass …. Along with the TP ! … Croc Power !

Some body needs to T.P. my house, I need to recycle it, I am getting low on paper.

..learned that from my ol’ First Sergeant back in the middle ’50’s…

Panty raids still sound like more fun, though.

And eggs….man-o-man did we ever go through some eggs! It got to the point where local grocers took all the eggs off the shelves on Halloween!

OK Boomer!

I know someone who works for Roto Rooter. He says that the TP shortage has been good for business, as people are using substitutes that aren’t flushable.

Nowadays, toilet paper is so sacred.

Wrong tale to tell at this point in time….LOL

I’m not gonna, but if you wanna buy a ton of fuel/gasoline to hoard now would be the time.

There is a joke around here that the Coast Guard stopped a suspected vessel and found 100 rolls of toilet paper hidden in the cocaine.

“Don’t know what you got till it’s gone…”

News alert: Most of that TP was stolen from school bathrooms.

I say we go back to soaking corn husks to wipe our anuses! If it’s good enough for a knight in the 1600’s it should be good enough for us!

Just in case I have one in my camping pack from my last trip to Quetico Provincial Park in 1983.

Remember when Trump said you needed to flush a toilet 10 times?

Now we know who’s been hoarding the toilet paper!

Great comic!

Humans have the largest brains and are the most intelligent of all animals. And yet we are the only ones that have to wipe ourselves after going poopy. That’s evolution for you

Toilet paper: The new 401K.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy.

—Martin Luther King Jr.

And how many of those who TPed houses or trees or egged houses had to clean them? Never TPED or egged houses, mainly because my folks would have found out and killed me if I had but also because I never understood how anyone could find that a good prank to pull. My idea of a prank was too have a bullroarer and just give it good spin outside of houses. Yeah, I was pretty lame when it came to Halloween pranks.

What ever you do don’t use poison ivy!

Ahhhh,the good old days,before trump ruined everything for everyone.

You are just like your nephew, Uncle Pig! Snerk!

(I blame Cartoon-Boy, the artist….)