Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for May 16, 2020

Wouldn’t you wear a mask?

Yeah, my allergies have been driving me bonkers for weeks now!

One of my favourite lines: Calvin and Hobbes looking at a tree stump, say “Proof that there is intelligent life in the universe is that it has not contacted us yet”.

All my Chestnut trees are dumping hundreds of pounds of pollen right now.

If that doesn’t work, send a Lorax after him!

It could have been worse. She could have ended up as toilet paper.

Clearly a case of “Timber Tantrum”.

Revenge branches out

You go tree. Fight the good fight. Your a champion of your kind. Uh oh. Is that a lumberjack? Run tree, run!! …oh

Hah, the wiz is stumped for a retort.

Judging from the number and placement of the other stumps I’d say a thinning was called for, but not a clearcut. Half of those other trees could’ve been saved unless they were diseased. The remaining tree might’ve been the only one not infected.

You play the hand you are dealt.

All the card tables I’ve seen are metal and plastic. Now if his aunt had become a dresser . . . .

You don’t see many card tables made of wood anymore.

Better watch out or you’ll end up a chair.

Welcome to Georgia, Wiz. We’ve been dealing with tree pollen since late March. Now we’re on to flower pollen. achooooo! (no, really, it’s just allergies)

One of the good things about having to wear a mask when I go out is that the trees & flowers can have all the sex they want without setting off my allergies. Neener neener!

I watched something that explained at least part of the allergy problem. When Dutch Elm disease devastated the popular elms, the idiot city planners planted only male trees.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh758qVQPqg