Rubes by Leigh Rubin for June 15, 2020

Our cat’s named “Miss Kitty” (Think Best Little Whorehouse in Texas ). We also had a rescue cat named “Mr. Pussy”… from my perspective Mr. Mittens & Mr. Socks have nothing to complain about.

Of course, before THAT we had “Sir Striped the Feisty” and his pound-brother “Lord Greystroke”. And Charlie. And Willie. and…

Now I understand why cats are sometimes surly.

You’d prefer something like Smokey?

Is that a catnip cigarette?

Why I named my white-footed tabby Murphy.

Our first cat was named Charlie after Charlie Harper because he always seemed to be drunk. Our second cat was named CC (Charlie Cat). Got the idea from The Simpsons, Snowball and Snowball 2. Then we got two cats and named them PITA (Pain In The A$$) and BOSS (Bad Old Stinky Smell) for obvious reasons.

Chani and Alia were the only cats I have ever had. Sisters, same litter, different breeds by all appearances. One a tawny Burmese with beautiful. Lue eyes, the other a very dark black brown tortoise shell with a white scar across one eye.

We named our kitten “Crash”. I had a 200 gallon aquarium with a lot of fish in it. Crash would zoom around the room at full speed and jump off the couch at the tank. He’d smack into it, then drop to the floor, look dazed for a minute and then do it all over again. Our other cat, Salem was a kitten when we got her, and my dog “Simba” was a 6 month old German Shepard. We put them together in the hopes they wouldn’t fight. Well, that worked. Simba thought that Salem was his pet, he would take him by the neck out to his dog house and toss him inside it. Whenever Salem wandered off, Simba would pick him up and put him back, unless they were in the house. It took Salem about a year to figure out how to get out of the yard, and he occasionaly would – but he would swing around to the front porch. When ever he came back to the yard, though, he would position himself in front of Simba’s dog house for him to put the cat in.

My girlfriend has a cat named “SPOT”

Why are so many things named after cats? I wear boots, socks, and mittens: why can’t I wear toms, snowballs, and fluffies? (I wore a Miss Kitty one evening, but I don’t think she was worth the few hundred bucks.)

And why name the sound a dog makes after the outer part of a tree? My big dog sounds more like “root root” and the little doggy sounds more like “leaf leaf”. So I propose we say dogs “root” and “leaf” rather than “bark”.

When we adopted Jax we didn’t particularly like his name. However it was obvious HE liked it so we didn’t change it. It sorta grows on you.

I dunno, I’ve heard some pretty creative cat names over the years… Clawdia, Jennifur, Catrick, but my favorite of course is Pyewacket

Corporal Mittens made the big time in Brewster Rockit.

Many of my friends let their kittens name themselves. Thus, we have “Houdini” and “Chirp”.

Mittens, at least you’re not named ‘Shoes’.

I named one Mu, because that is what she kept saying, and her sisters were Nu and Omicron. Butterscotch was probably the most normal name I’ve given. Then there was Tapeworm, which I’ve been told is not an appropriate name for a cat.

To my shame we actually owned a “mittens” cat. And an all black cat called midnight…

My family’s cats have all had human names. It seems more respectful.

I once knew of a cat named Ashurbanipaw. After Ashurbanipal, I think; very learned. But many family members, knowing him to be a quite active tom, called him “Basher any balls.”

Irrelevant argument. No matter what you name a cat, it still won’t answer to it.

I get some strange looks from neighbors when I call Black Sabbath. :)

My folks had a cat called “Henry B” after the Bishop of their diocese. (Dad was clergy.)