Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 01, 2020

LOL so true

The delicate Art of Procrastination is the foundation of lawyers!!!

And the chairs are less than six feet apart. Given some of the lawyers I know, sitting in those chairs they’d be squeezed in tight and making contact. That guide line of six feet apart is the actual distance between bodies and not the center line of the bodies

Billable hours v. fillable powers…

…and those fees were just for drafting the waiver not to sue if you catch COVID while attending!

They met and somebody suggested that they could improve their image by being more honest. They all had a good laugh and adjourned for happy hour.

There is the story of an apparently young man standing at the Pearly gates, complaining to St. Peter, “I’m too young to die”. St’ Peter replies, “Not according to your billable hours.”

I’ve met many incompetent lawyers and more than a few crooks…

Bill me, Baby, eight to the bar!

Today,July 1st is HUMP DAY for 2020, 183 down with 183 to go,enjoy.

Hey, they do charge by the hour.

Like Dickens’ Jarndyce v Jarndyce in Bleak House (gotta love Dickens): “Mr. Kenge,” said Allan, appearing enlightened all in a moment. “Excuse me, our time presses. Do I understand that the whole estate is found to have been absorbed in costs?”

“Hem! I believe so,” returned Mr. Kenge. “Mr. Vholes, what do you say?”

“I believe so,” said Mr. Vholes.

“And that thus the suit lapses and melts away?”

“Probably,” returned Mr. Kenge. “Mr. Vholes?”

“Probably,” said Mr. Vholes.

Got a notice about a “settlement” by Centurylink: $3 million to the lawyers, $4.5 million for “administrative fees” and a MAXIMUM of $30 to customers.

That’s basically the plot of Bleak House

The sound of crickets silence.

Jurisprudence.

OK, young people, THIS is what irony looks like.

The worst of the worst lawyers are the ones who give the business a bad reputation. Most lawyers spend their careers helping people navigate their lives and businesses safely through the legal system and the truly horrible people who want to hurt them.

Q What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the Hudson River?

A A good start

The two lawyers in a small town met to celebrate. They’d just found out that a third lawyer was moving into town and would have to share the practice of public defender

I’ll make this brief.

My son asked me whether he should become a lawyer. I suggested he become a pimp because his colleagues would have higher ethical standards and he’d be held in higher regard for his contribution to society.

Wiley, enough with the fake news already. #LawyersMakeLifeBetter4UsAll

If it weren’t for lawyers… we wouldn’t need lawyers.

“A lawyer’s time and advice are his stock in trade.” A. Lincoln

What goes around comes around. Ironically.