Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for August 22, 2020

Read a comic at a sit down restaurant.

Shaved my beard. Well, actually, I trimmed it this week.

We can all relate, Mark!

By the time I got a hair cut, if I combed my bangs straight down I either looked like a Beatle or Moe from The Three Stooges

Been months since I stole a picanic basket.

Been growing my hair out for a few years so that hasn’t changed. Since I use my hands in repair of things, I always keep my nails trimmed very short so that hasn’t changed. Stopped going to movies since they started putting commercials in them a few years ago. I can’t even remember the last time I smelled a butt.

I’ve learned to cut my own hair.

Plenty of people walking their dogs. Haven’t actually observed how the dogs greet each other, but I don’t think they’re missing out.

We got some frozen breakfast rolls that had butter and honey baked right in! They came out of the oven, I cut one open and asked my daughter if she wanted to sniff my biscuits. She declined, but Mom and I had a good laugh though.

One of them is lying, unless they have a litter box.

Poor dog!

Gave my wife a haircut. She says her panties feel really funny now.

My last haircut was so bad, the person cutting it was a stoned retard, I said “no more”. Now that it is way down my back, people throw insult after insult at me: they use terms such as “liberal” and “democrat”.

4 for 4 for me…

Been months since I went to an amusement park.

I get my haircuts and manicures from Amazon now.

I noticed on some soaps the actors have very long hair and beards now…It’s ok to get your haircut and nails done, But I wouldn’t risk a movie or sniffing butts just yet.

I got a haircut yesterday! I feel five pounds lighter!

Last haircut was early February, I think.

Well, I’m not a movie going type. I’ll get the blue ray when it comes out for movies I really want to see. Even then, I don’t watch them until a rainy day when I can’t do anything outside and when there is no sporting event on TV I want to watch. I’m not a big fan of TV either.

I am three Star Trek movies behind. I have one that I bought about 5 years ago and I still haven’t opened the package.

I could probably name you a dozen actors, half of whom are still alive.

I think I’ve been in a movie theater a half dozen times in the past 20 years.

And, I’ve never gotten into sniffing butts either or kissing them either. I think this explains some of my non-promotions in some companies I worked in.

I’m afraid when I do get a haircut I will realize how bald I have become.

The dog- lol

Went to my bank’s ATM yesterday… realized it was the first time I’d been there since March

Good grief. They need to get out a take the dog for a walk. And NO MASKs!!!

I got my hair cut, on schedule, on the last Saturday in February. I’ve done that for 30+ years with the same barber. He decided to retire due to all of this crap. I’m at a loss as to what to do so my hair is 6 months long for the first time since I was a teenager.

Is this why our dog keeps rolling in our neighbor’s cow poop?

Three out of four (I have two dogs, so the but sniffing is still ongoing).

Most dog parks are open and it’s fairly easy to keep social distancing. It’s great for the dogs.

Wiped my a…. Wait I found some toilet paper!