Close to Home by John McPherson for August 27, 2020

Hit the siren switch Bleeb. Scare the crap out of everyone.

“We were trying to get to the Shell station.”

27 feet per hour is 0.0051136 miles per hour. Or 195.5 hours per mile. A little over 8 days per mile.

It was that damned snail tailgating me, Sir!

He can do faster than that without the car! He beat a rabbit, ya know!

Find this rather disturbing.

Have him race the sloth

My brother had a car like that.

Turtle in a convertible? A turtle cop in a hard top? aaaagh! So many quips. Must…go…to…work.

Did you see that S car go??

Man, get a hobby. LOL

Huh. I wonder what Bleeb did to warrant being in the back of a squad car?

Snapping at the public will not make you very popular. Fortunately, you don’t give a corpulent capybara’s can about this.

Sounds like the tourists we get around here that drive 20 mph below the speed limit on a 2 lane road.

… and now, sit back and enjoy a classic.

It’s people. Soylent Green is made out of people. They’re making our food out of people. Next thing they’ll be breeding us like cattle for food. You’ve gotta tell them. You’ve gotta tell them!

I promise, Tiger. I promise. I’ll tell the exchange… but it’s actually turtles! They’re using turtles.

Turtles? Oh! Okay, in that case, I’m not so upset… I guess I’ll calm down. I’m kinda hungry now, what about you?

I could eat!

Did the world (or a local part of it) get sprayed (humans and turtles) with the Foot Clan’s mutagen?

Is Mitch the driver or the cop?

That’ll leave them shell shocked.

Oh, come on, how did that cop get pants on under his shell?

Bleeb is going on a ride-along.

Traffic was at a crawl. I didn’t realize that was normal.

I wonder how long it took the cop to catch up and pull him over.