The Duplex by Glenn McCoy for November 23, 2020

All the employers in town contract with the same clinic to do their drug testing. This led to the absurdity of having to go give a sample twice in one day when I had 2 interviews in the same day. They couldn’t use my test from 4 hours ago because I might of used drugs in those 4 hours.

That was not a request.

Eno no blood sample no job!

For one job, I needed to leave a urine sample on my birthday. I mentioned this to the lady taking samples. She said “are you doing anything special for your birthday?” I said “are we done?” She said yes, and I said “do drugs!”

She did not have a sense of humour.

Duh!!! Eno, pee-in-container not drink it!!!

Welcome to the 6 o’clock news. I’m your anchor Pierre because my bladder’s empty.

(Colin Mochrie}

I have taken plenty of whiz quiz’s in my life and I still feel it’s to invasive. However, I’m willing to trade some pee for a paycheck.

OK, this really hurts Eno can get hired, why not me? I’ve gone to round 3 or 4 interviewing at each of 4 companies since October and they all ended up selecting someone else.

Stuff makes my teeth yellow.

‘Thank you for your time’.

What’s with the high concentration of malted barley?

Urine luck, Eno! A job offer.

I hospital I worked for in a very large city started doing their own drug testing. They turned that into a revenue stream by selling the service to other Corporations. Refusal to take the tests was considered a Positive and a mandatory firing.

If English was not so imprecise, cartoonists would have a much more challenging job.

I told my stpson once that a hair samp,e can reveak recent marijuana and other drug use

and he shaved his head for his job interview the next day…..

AND… the job offer is withdrawn

They’re also gonna stick a swab up you nose to take a sample of your brain.

A urine specimen??? What is it?

Just pee in a bottle!

So I says, says I, well shite in your hat!

And the fight was on!! :>)

Eno’s urine is probably 100 percent pure pale ale.

“Human Resources” just sounds so… inhuman.