Rubes by Leigh Rubin for November 30, 2020

Yeah, they met the gentleman in the white suit, called himself a colonel too!!

the authorities suspect fowl play…

Invite them for dinner.

Waiter: “Yes, SIR, we WILL take you back to the kitchen to talk to the ‘idiot’ who made the sign…he’s our chef, as it happens…”

Waiter: Right this way customers. Btw if you’re feeling cold might I recommend the oven booth?

But for the “comma” the chicken was cooked.

Is that a chicken sandwich board?

Wow! That Lydia could feather my nest anytime.

“Let’s eat grandma!”

I have been known to fix signs at work at well. If you’re typing on a computer, there’s no need for misspelled words.

With Covid and all, I think the all you can eat buffet are a thing of the past.

Punctuation is important. My wife heard a radio announcer say this: “Saipov said President Trump should get the death penalty.”Now was that supposed to be:“Saipov,” said President Trump, “should get the death penalty”?It sounded like number 1.

First I mistook the pen for a knife.

Unfortunately for them, the owner of the establishment was an Oxford alumnus.

As a proofreader myself, I completely applaud your actions, Henry. By the way, you were delicious.

This reminds me of the fellow who saw a sign at the butcher’s for “free range chicken,” and didn’t understand why the cashier insisted he had to pay.