Close to Home by John McPherson for December 24, 2020

So that’s why hes never been caught. I believe that’s Bleeb by the chimney being Santa’s little helper.

This crew needs the Prep and Landing elves. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prep_%26_Landing

Schmiddle has no bathroom water upstairs?

Every little kid’s nightmare.

Houston we have a problem

There’s a Schmiddle in every town!

cue in Mission Impossible theme

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and Bleeb’s on the beat, but not stinkin’ up your office, nor walking the street. He’s up north with Santa, helping him pack, and he’s taking a break for his… um, “favorite snack”…

Saint Nick’s made his plan, and it unfurls, it’s to deliver great gifts for good boys and girls. As the elves load his sleigh, Saint Nick takes a snooze, while Bleeb wonders the house, still looking for booze.

A power nap is required, for a long Christmas flight, if Santa is well rested, good kids will delight. While Santa naps, Bleeb gets a buzz on, as Santa dreams of outrunning ol’ Amazon.

The sleigh is all ready and it’s time to wake Santa, he must start his long trek, and there’s that stupid connection in Atlanta! For some reason there seems, to be a small quandary, Bleeb is not ready… he’s passed out on their laundry. Santa whistles for Bleeb to get up and get going, Bleeb springs to his feet with a powerful “BOING!”

Santa shouts: “BLEEB! Don’t make us late, we have to get flying and the reindeer won’t wait! Now get up on ol’ Rudolph and let us take flight, I have to be done with this in one night”. So away they all flew, in just a blink, and Saint Nick was heard yelling: “AND WHAT THE HELL IS THAT STINK!?”

Off in the distance, but clean out of sight, Bleeb’s heard exclaiming:

“ꀤ꓄ ꈤꂦ꓄ ꎭꏂ!!!“

(SNIFF)

“ꂦꀘꍏꌩ… ꀤ꓄ ꎭꀤꁅꀍ꓄!“

No rush Santa, you’re in the wrong house, The Schmiddle’s are Jewish.

This comic also addresses this issue: https://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest?ct=v&cti=45056

Oh fiddle D Schmiddle !

Where the little bug?

Looks like Schmiddle just got screwed.

This explains the Elf on the Shelf! They put the camera’s in the Elf! very creepy….

Negative, control. I still want those cookies and milk!

Time to switch to Plan C – COAL.

I thought that was an old lady coming down the stairs…

With McPherson’s people, you can never be too sure. Merry Christmas to all! I hope you don’t get thirsty in the middle of the night!

Santa’s either really shy or anti-social.

true to modern trends. Cameras everywhere.

Archie Bunker always said that you drink kitchen water, not bathroom water. If it was meant to be drunk, it would haved gone to the kitchen.

Also, where is Bleeb?

Keep looking. You’ll find him…..