Farcus by David Waisglass and Gordon Coulthart for March 28, 2021

I thank the warranty is about to expire.

“I believe the parachute is fine, Sir!”

Whose lifetime?

He should have read the fine print much earlier.

We guarantee it for its lifetime. We just don’t guarantee it to be a long and prosperous lifetime.

This reminds me of when I went to jump school, we packed our own mains, but the back-up emergency “belly ’chutes” were packed by the feds. As the jump master was issuing them he used the same old running gag “Remember if your emergency ’chute fails, return it to the manufacturer for a full refund”

Ripcord is sold as a separate accessory that you may wish to consider.

What! Call customer service!

This chute is warrantied for 1,000 successful jumps or one failed jump, which ever comes first.

Do not return to place of purchase for service or refund.

“I know sir but this is tech support, have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?”

Life time… that’s the catch.

Parachute for sale, only used once, never opened, but does have a small stain.

So where is his reserve chute?