Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 09, 2021

Still waiting for god.

Do I have the option of getting a bunch of my followers to storm the Capitol or whatever this place is?

Looks like being in Heaven means having to share the one litter box.

“Do you have Fire Insurance?”

“So, looks like you’ve had a really long day, so far. How about I just handle the next hour or so, while you take a well deserved break?”

limbo?

I dislike those kind of questions in interviews. I guess the answer would be “working here with you “

in this interview just try to wing it…

If you answer, “I definitely belong in heaven!” you may end up in the ‘out’ box for self-righteousness. If you answer, “I fear it may be hell, I haven’t done all I could have with my life,” you get credit for knowing your limitations and demonstrate that you can continue to learn – and there is real hope for you.

“… in the frying pan or …?”

Oh hell, I don’t know….

God has read Robert Sutton’s book “The NO Asshole Rule.”

“Where do I see myself in the next five minutes?” Hell, I don’t know. Ten minutes ago I was on my way down to Buckhead to get a pack of cigarettes…..and now this?

I used to hate that question when I was young and applying for a retail position. Always wanted to say “not working here.”

Answer: Hire me for two weeks, then ask me that again. I felt they needed to know I was not the only one who was getting a try-out. And naturally, when the recruiting sergeant aske me a similar question, I replied, OUT!. He suggested I try to keep that to myself for the next couple of years.

Why does the desk look a bit like the Resolute Desk?

Post-retirement, I was applying for a temp gig – 6 months to help wipe out a backlog. The interviewer knew I was retired, but he still asked the “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” question, and it took all I had not to laugh in his face. I said something about being retired for reals by then. I got the job and it paid for a really nice vacation, which is why I took it in the first place!

Just tell him what “you” want to hear. Either you get it or you don’t. Honesty is not necessarily the best policy but dishonesty is exactly the sort of thing that gets you in the “out” basket.

In a hammock in a place with perfect weather, with a magic table beside the hammock. Said table is filled with books I haven’t gotten to yet, and pastry of all kinds that are filled with calorie-less sugar and fat. . .

Next 5 minutes? Oh next to the water cooler chatting up the birds. ;-}

What’s the deal with the “gatekeeper” always portrayed as a male???

“In! IN! IN IN IN IN IN!! IIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN!”

Soo, is this purgatory?

“Hired at an obscenely high salary.”

Back in the 60s, a female and pre-PC, I was asked if I planned to have another baby.

this one stings just a little since my new manager started calling all of us “resources”….

Still thinking of a really good answer and disappointed in the question.

The correct answer is,“wearing a pair of those wings”.

“Forgive me, sir. I cannot answer that question as asked. Having impaired visual acuity to possible future events that are at best a mere potentiality, and since I have no real influence or control of any of the possible outcomes, I really cannot answer that question with any degree of accuracy or certainty. However, if you are asking ’where would I want to be in the next five minutes,’ then I could reply with some confidence.”

Is this a trick question?

“Oh, Hell…”

I’ll let you know after you get out of my chair.

Cinderfried!

Love the wings drying bon the line.

Considering who is asking, and where he is asking it, my answer would be, “Having found Jesus, I hope he and I can be good friends, maybe a potluck dinnert after church.”

I WAS SELF EMPLOYED AND THE BOSS WAS AN IDIOT

“Where do I see myself in the next minute? Cleaning out the litter box and feeding the cats. Ask my cats- they are right behind you waiting for me.”

The interview with my current employer included the ‘where do you see yourself in five years’ question. “I’ll be sixty-seven years old, so I see myself semi-retired, on Medicare, and holding out for Social Security ’til four years past full retirement for the increased benefit.” I got a laugh and I got the job.

Not the worst of questions, unlike Tell me 3 words that best describe you and Tell me 3 words that describe your ideal team. (From a real-life experience.)