Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for February 18, 2021

… there are stories of sailors that were properly introduced to albatrosses…

…and it just wasn’t feathers that flew…

…of course this was all before camera phones…

…they-it is said- took the practice back to the farm …

…and when their overworked wives refused to be even more overwhelmed with even more work…

…well, let’s just say some chickens caught on better than others…

…soap was used but not for cleaning…

…and lotteries were held…in…uh…high esteem…

…farmer Brown went downtown with his britches upside down…

…the rest is history…

…and that, son, is where Trump fans come from…

…click…

….Gretel, these politic 24 news stations keep getting more and more bias every day…

…Hush, dear, I’m trying to listen…

Wow! Looks like the Merchantile Section in the Bathmat factory is having a sale! Anything and everything is on sale for half off! From dandRUFF shampoos, 50 different kinds of coffee, to area rugs! In our grocery section we have fresh peas in the pods and stripped melons! You should see the size of those melons! No rain checks! While supplies last…..

I came. I saw. I left.

Like peas in a pod, so are the … um… the thing. You know.

Brothers hair jelly and a cricket.

can you hold that hen? I can’t hold the hen with one hand while I sign my name on her with the other

It’s a good thing the coffee is so cheap. We need to keep the women focused.

That’s not a carnation, is it? I think it might be some kind of mum.

 

After years of meretricious and painstaking research it is my conclusion that one of five generic comments covers every Frog Applause™ strip:

1.      I don’t get it.

2.      Stakes can be very painful.

3.      Sorry – this is the Frog Applause™ Owned Bath Mat Factory. The open sewer is in the next block down.

4.      How do soft matronly breasts affect the gonadosomatic index?

…. (and, if all else fails) …

5.       My list is much more hoity-toity than @3hourtour’s.

I’ll have the folding melon knife.

Mmmmmmm 1 pound equals a pennies worth of coffee, cup of joe, or here’s mud in your eye.

Teresa’s getting an early start on spring by cleaning out her FA collage closet … but for me, I’ll just procrastinate until March 20th and enjoy the show … navel naval navel ….

Ship of navel experts.

Understanding that I understand nothing is understanding indeed.

If I put my name on a hen and mail it, does it become a male rooster? What pronoun should I use? If this is the new version of twitter, I think I could get behind it, and hopefully a golden egg will be laid. Don’t be a sucker, sign up for Clucker, broadcast your message faster than a mother trucker, maybe your signal of affections will make her, er, pucker.

With regards to music therapy in palliative care, I am taken back at once to the beautiful euthanasia scene in “Soylent Green.”

Who’s dat name on the hen..

Why it’s Teresa’s penmanship.

I’ll have me five pounds of that really cheap coffee, youngster; it is cheap really coffee, not chickory ersatz , right?

That’ll be all, thank you. My stock aren’t itchy, my wife isn’t overworked (yet; but I’ll be seeing to that), and I’m not just now in the market for any circular looms, striped melons, or fresh peas in the pod.

Got any bath mats in stock, sonny?