Pickles by Brian Crane for March 11, 2021

excuses, excuses (I would’ve thought Opal was going to tell Earl she didn’t get any blueberries)

Is ‘male refrigerator blindness’ a thing?

Yeah. I have male-pattern grocery-shelf blindness. It’s even worse when I’m not remembering the pattern of the label correctly… which as often as not is because some idiot “marketer” decided to add a “Now with less BLAH” bubble, or some other thing to make it look “better”. From my perspective, though, “better” is different and “different” is freakin’ WORSE !

Putting fresh blueberries in a refrigerator?? Who does that??

I’m not a male but I can’t see what’s usually right in front of my face.

I have tall person blindness. Anything on the bottom shelf is invisible to me.

Cleverly hidden so by the time you do find them…white fuzzies on the blueberries.

Label and Date everything not in the original container ….. This works as long as one can read and write ;-)

Is there a charity we can give to that helps fight MRB?

I have that. If it’s not ice cream or steak. I just don’t see it.

I’ve found its more likely to be female blindness! At least with my wife!

Some Men can never see what’s in front of them…..

MRB also asserts itself when it’s time for the garbage to go out. Just ask my wife.

its real

I tell my wife that I know where everything is in the refrigerator and freezer but the fridge & freezer fairies come in at night, while we’re sleeping, and move everything around.

She’s not buyin’ it!

It’s just Earl’s glasses fogging up when he sticks his head in the fridge.

Of course it’s a real thing. Happens to me all the…umm…what were we talking about again?

Why I thought I had female refrigerator blindness.

Shut the damn refrigerator door, Earl. No need jacking up the utility bill.

Yep

So Earl can’t find anything in male refrigerators? I wonder if he can find them in female refrigerators?

Why doesn’t she hide the casserole behind the blueberries?

I bet she asked him 5 milliseconds after he opened the door.

That is a real side affect to my husband’s Alzheimer’s. Tell him something is right in front of him and he will turn his head from side to side.

I call it “male cupboard blindness”

He should start getting ready NOW! Shower, dress in tomorrow’s clothes. Eat dinner, tomorrow’s breakfast, note location of tomorrow’s lunch to grab it in the morning. Then, jump into bed (say 6pm?) for extra long sleep! Yeah-thats the ticket!

Interesting problem. Our fridge has a bottom freezer, so the only person with any problem is my wife, who is shorter.

Here is a suggestion for a future Pickles. If the doorbell dings or the phone rings, my wife never seems to hear it, and I have to run upstairs from my den to answer.

But if sneak over to the freezer, and open it as quietly as I can, just the quietest sound of the springs stretching are enough for her to shout downstairs “If you are getting ice cream, bring me some.” Nothing, not WD40 nor silicon spray has eliminated that sound.

I call it female selective deafness. This also might explain why she never hears what I have to say. (Note, we just celebrated forty-three years of marriage. Mind you, if I had committed murder in 1978, I would have been out on parole, several decades ago.)

There is a theory that, because in ancient times men were hunters, and women were gatherers, men are looking for something to move so that they can give chase. Women are looking for ripe fruit.

I’m thinking a lot of this “refrigerator blindness” is due to back pain. There’s a lot of bending involved in a thorough refrigerator search. You’ll notice men don’t usually set up storage space for small items in a cabinet under a workbench.

There’s Hunters and gatherers, hunters normally hunt moving game, and gatherers pick berries. Earl is a hunter.

I know I have that. If what I’m looking for, isn’t right in front of me, I can’t see it.

It’s nice to know there’s a name for my condition.