Now a days all toasters come internet enabled so some one out there has an algorithm that determines you need more bread and feeds you ads for bread ( forever )
Back in the 60’s we had an old toaster. It had two doors, one on each side. You put a slice of bread on a door and closed it. You had to watch it so the bread didn’t burn. When one side was done you opened the door and the bread slid out, toasted side down and you closed the door and toasted the other side. I think it was major entertainment on weekend mornings.
Want a new toaster? Just let a child try to make grilled cheese or PB on toast with a toaster. Neither one bodes well. Oh, and be sure you dial 9-1 and keep your finger hovering above the 1 key while they’re doing it. (For those that can’t figure out why, the clue is “Do not be surprised when they a). Combine steps and/or b). Get the steps out of order.”)
It would seem, in this advanced and fancy age, that it would be possible to buy a toaster with a colorimetric sensor that would detect the “brown-ness” of the toast rather than using a simple timer or heat sensor. Also, I’m sure applied physics would allow the use of infra-red diffusers which would produce uniform heat distribution. I’m not expecting it to cost $19.99 but it would certainly have a market somewhere. (Degrees in Chemistry and Physics with a minor in Frustration)
I am reminded of my father, a dry land farmer. He said that irrigating crops looked like a lot of work and he’d rather sit around and wait for it to rain anyway
This brings to mind a passage from one of Bill Bryson’s books (I’m paraphrasing): My father was the last man in the Midwest to buy an air conditioner. He thought air conditioning was unnatural. He thought anything that cost more than $30 was unnatural.
BE THIS GUY over 3 years ago
Mom should have a say in this.
dadthedawg Premium Member over 3 years ago
There’s nothing worse than…..a dumb toaster.
in.amongst over 3 years ago
Aye Calvin, these ‘larger perspective’ guys are a really hard boiled lot.
oldpine52 over 3 years ago
Maybe Calvin should have turned the bread over before trying the second time.
EasternWoods over 3 years ago
Now a days all toasters come internet enabled so some one out there has an algorithm that determines you need more bread and feeds you ads for bread ( forever )
sirbadger over 3 years ago
The worst is when the toast fails to pop up and then smoke starts coming out of the toaster.
cleokaya over 3 years ago
Dad might give consideration to trading you in though
Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 3 years ago
This could be a Stupendous Man task.
Concretionist over 3 years ago
Just use the microwave…
codycab over 3 years ago
Let’s not teach him how to make grilled cheese.
Kind&Kinder over 3 years ago
Stop complaining, Calvin, or you’ll be toast!
Ivy Valory Premium Member over 3 years ago
I think I will adopt Dad’s outlook — And yet, somehow, live goes on. No use getting my knickers in a twist.
EasternWoods over 3 years ago
Back in the 60’s we had an old toaster. It had two doors, one on each side. You put a slice of bread on a door and closed it. You had to watch it so the bread didn’t burn. When one side was done you opened the door and the bread slid out, toasted side down and you closed the door and toasted the other side. I think it was major entertainment on weekend mornings.
rentier over 3 years ago
He is a skinflint!!
Susan00100 over 3 years ago
How about this thought, Dad: if you were to meet your Maker today, life would STILL go on!
su43dipta over 3 years ago
Larger perspectives build character…and save money!
Display over 3 years ago
Want a new toaster? Just let a child try to make grilled cheese or PB on toast with a toaster. Neither one bodes well. Oh, and be sure you dial 9-1 and keep your finger hovering above the 1 key while they’re doing it. (For those that can’t figure out why, the clue is “Do not be surprised when they a). Combine steps and/or b). Get the steps out of order.”)
Algolei I over 3 years ago
As soon as I find my baseball bat, life for that toaster is over.
jagedlo over 3 years ago
Dad doesn’t want to waste his bread on a thing that toasts bread…
JoeStoppinghem Premium Member over 3 years ago
Let me know when you find a good 4 slice toaster. Haven’t found one yet.
uniquename over 3 years ago
Thus we have a larger perspective within the larger perspective.
MS72 over 3 years ago
Got a toaster oven. Much better toast and i can get 6 at a time, …, if i ever want to.
Troglodyte over 3 years ago
It’s a fine line between parsimony and philosophy, young Cal!
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 3 years ago
There are two types of people who have antiques. The ones who can afford them and the ones who can’t afford to get rid of them.
dflak over 3 years ago
We refer to these kinds of events as “First World Problems.”
e.groves over 3 years ago
Why do toasters have burn settings?
david_42 over 3 years ago
Our current toaster has a “bagel” setting, which does nothing. Even said so in the instructions, but not the ad.
A R V reader over 3 years ago
Cheapskate Father,“Burnt toast builds character.”
yangeldf over 3 years ago
it took me YEARS to get my mom to replace our crappy old toaster
Otis Rufus Driftwood over 3 years ago
This seems like user error, not a worn out tester.
Snolep over 3 years ago
Obla di obla da.
SHEEP on gocomics! over 3 years ago
wow. what a bad toaster. never had that happen to me!
j.l.farmer over 3 years ago
just take a knife and scrap off the burnt side of the toast.
DanWolfie over 3 years ago
My dad tends to be like that, often with a sardonic/rude “Oh well!”
Lightpainter over 3 years ago
I can’t believe that Dad doesn’t realize that burning the toast is a sure sign of the Apocalypse.
mistercatworks over 3 years ago
It would seem, in this advanced and fancy age, that it would be possible to buy a toaster with a colorimetric sensor that would detect the “brown-ness” of the toast rather than using a simple timer or heat sensor. Also, I’m sure applied physics would allow the use of infra-red diffusers which would produce uniform heat distribution. I’m not expecting it to cost $19.99 but it would certainly have a market somewhere. (Degrees in Chemistry and Physics with a minor in Frustration)
Ray Helvy Premium Member over 3 years ago
Next, Dad will explain how to turn the bread around before toasting it the second time, to “even it out”.
PaulLeckner over 3 years ago
Oh, if that was the worst trouble I had to deal with, I would thank my lucky stars.
oldlady07 Premium Member over 3 years ago
I am reminded of my father, a dry land farmer. He said that irrigating crops looked like a lot of work and he’d rather sit around and wait for it to rain anyway
Scott S over 3 years ago
How wonderful is life when you’re 6 years old. While downsizing, planned obsolescence, creeping obesity, etc. are all still meaningless concepts.
smsrt over 3 years ago
Ahh… the genius of Calvin.
the great calvini over 3 years ago
life isn’t easy calvin i spill water sometimes, but eventually you learn to roll with it
Santaanacanyon1 over 3 years ago
…backstage, Dad is laughing his head off!
BamCat over 3 years ago
This brings to mind a passage from one of Bill Bryson’s books (I’m paraphrasing): My father was the last man in the Midwest to buy an air conditioner. He thought air conditioning was unnatural. He thought anything that cost more than $30 was unnatural.
hagarthehorrible over 3 years ago
Beneath that dumb toaster there is a guy who does not go for the new sibling for obvious reasons…
Godzilla The King of the Monsters over 3 years ago
This is the exact reason people put toasters in bathtubs.
They’re evil.
Zardy over 3 years ago
i’ve been there, calvin
GiladMarcus over 3 years ago
I like calvins face. HA HA!