Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for June 16, 2021

Squirrels seem to be either standing still or running full speed. No in between.

Chuckled quietly to myself. We have always said that the young (male) ones egg each other on: “Go on, I dare ya. Betcha can’t make them hit the brakes! …”

When you’re 79 years old and waiting to cross the street, the light doesn’t give you time to cross the street without running a bit.

I’m sooooo confused!!!

(O _ O)

On two occasions I saw a squirrel fall out of a tree. Once right at my feet. My dog was outraged because I kept her on the leash. She has never tasted squirrel. Rabbit and field mice so far. A wiener dog instinct; catch and eat, hence the leash.

Do whatever the sign says.

Where’s the sign that says, “Don’t run onto the shoulder, throw yourself under the tire at the last moment”?

He’s a might squirrelly…….

I don’t brake for squirrels for a number of reasons:

1. They only run back.

2. I usually miss them anyway.

3. I might cause an accident

4. Squirrels don’t do that much damage to your car when you run over them.

5. Somebody has to feed the crows.

I have seen them run back to “safety” from halfway across the opposing lane. It usually doesn’t end well for the squirrel, but, like dflak, I’m not going to kill myself for a rodent with suicidal tendencies.

I didn’t know squirels could read.

Mama squirrel to baby squirrel, “Run both ways when you’re crossing a street”.

There are more nuts on the other side of the street.

Lol

Their predator-evasion instincts just aren’t well-tuned for automobiles on wide roads.

Give them time. They’ll evolve, as the less-clever one are killed off by cars.

Before long, they’ll run out into the middle of the lane, toss out a spike strip chewed from the closest spiny tree, and then dash back to safety.

When the car drags to a stop with a blown tire, a hundred angry squirrels will mob and kill the driver, and leave the body in the middle of the road for the crows.

It’s only justice.

Okay. A squirrel is so low to the ground that the sound of your car echos off the curb. Suddenly, the sound is in front of them so they run back. If you slow down and give the squirrel time, it will go off the road to safety. But only if you give them time.

He needs to take lessons from the chicken…

“SQUIRREL!!”

There was quite a traffic jam on our country road when a herd of deer were half on one side and half on the other. That sign would have been very appropriate.

I saw a friend run over four birds at once. He couldn’t see them till he was right on top of them, and he couldn’t swerve without causing an accident.

That’s because they didn’t evolve to avoid 50mph monsters who go in a straight line instead of pursuing them. Their “predator” isn’t following the script they evolved to thwart. Poor guys.

Anything. Just keep off of my lawn.

Over the course of the past 30 years, I’ve noticed natural selection in action. The squirrels who remain in our area have much less tendency than they used to, to fulfill every stage of this crossing sign.

There should be signs for “Look Around,” “Climb,” “Grab Something,” “Jog,” and “Sniff.”

And all of those signs are lit at the same time.

Taste the rubber

There was another strip who did this exact same gag recently. I’m trying to recall what/when it was. They both did amazing jobs, though! Very funny!!

The only time I ever ran over a squirrel it was very much as described here. I’ve seen many that seem more streetwise, that will see an oncoming vehicle and turn around, but not this one, which darted back and forth in front of me, and darted forth one time too many.