That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 25, 2021

The first IKEA builds were much more complicated than those of today…

“Oh sh*t, I forgot to put the mercury in it.”

Old Man Wilson had the monopoly on barometer repair in his town.

To pay for his room at Our Boarding House, Major Hoople would occasionally attempt to do odd jobs.

Fitzwilliam had opened this pawnshop for the express purpose of obtaining large numbers of inexpensive barometers. But when he had finally extracted enough mercury to poison his wife, she had already been dead for eighteen months.

Old Pietro would have histrionics / all because of his poor economics. / He had sought world acclaim / with the “Quicksilver” name, / but was sued for it by Marvel Comics.

Scrappy devils, HAH! Gotcha!

He could watch them for hours on his table. / Little silvery blobs that were able, / to combine and divide / as he brushed them aside. / But his grandkids thought Pops was unstable.

“Call this number now to purchase this item for a special price….”

It was clear he was going mad /from the curious habit he had/ of transforming bird droppings / into cereal toppings/ but all of us still loved old Dad…

“Screw you,” said Schlomo to the barometer each time he rotated yet another tiny one in. The barometer was well able to weather it and felt it was only fair!

It’s a crappy job but somebody’s got to do it… paint an old man fixing a barometer.

Sure, the job has its up and downs, but you get to wear a cool hat.

Poor barometer repairman, no one knows the pressure that job puts on him.

in his dotage bob liked to use the barometer to cut another line…

Nice hat.

Anyone want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure.

Young people today didn’t know about barometers. Roger had discovered that you could easily smuggle mercury inside one.

All of our Grandfather Barometers are built by a real grandfather.

II. And despite our most fervent entreaties/ he continues to court diabetes/ as each morning he eats/ those sugary treats/ which he characterizes as “Twheaties”…

Look to the right – Yum! – he’s having Pheasant Under Glass for dinner

Great idea for Shark Tank.

Is that dead parrot a Norwegian Blue?

The Barometer Work Shop finally took off in popularity when Malcolm took a tip from those Paint and Wine businesses and added hard liquor to his business model and renamed his shop Barometers And Bourbon

Malcolm couldn’t stand the thought of his wife staring at him from her urn on the sideboard.

As a child, Thomas Edison reputedly took apart his father’s pocket watch, and was able to reassemble it. Otto wasn’t so lucky. Sixty years later he’s still working on it.

Who needs a barometer when my knee tells me when the weather is going to change?

“I need to get this fixed before the lady from Flea Market Flip shows up!”

Glass parrot cages was the second worst business idea.

Ben’s habit of licking his fingers explained why he became known as The Mad Hatter.

Repairing the Barometer:

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2778.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. The third here link in my comment there includes the information, about this roughly B5 paper size painting, that I usually put in a Wikimedia Commons file. But, due to copyright issues, the image can’t be uploaded to Wikimedia Commons. First work by him used here.

Let’s see. I can paint a beautiful woman. Nah. I can paint a scene from history. Nah. Hmm.. What’s something nobody has painted yet?

The aging terminator finally found a useful alternative for the liquid metal terminator that he had been keeping frozen all these years…

Family heirlooms are usually treasured. / (This was used by Bert’s wife to be “pleasured.”) / Yet he smiled like a Cheshire / at his wife’s urgent pressure / for repair. Like the air, Bert was measured.

This sucks. I’m going back to paint-by-number.

Jewish man during the holocaust hiding his diamonds in the clock so on one will find it till 1946.

I don’t know what that pink doohickey is, but I want it! :)

Yea, the naked lady was pointing to where this barometer used to be. Whatuboutit? I’m fixin’ it, see? You have nuttin on me, so go away!

Grandma had always relied on this barometer to predict the weather, and Grandpa prided himself on thinking outside the box. He taped these instructions for her to the broken device:

Place on an outside window ledge and consult as needed.

>>> IF WET — RAINY

>>> IF STUCK TO LEDGE — ICY

>>> IF NOT ON LEDGE — WINDY