Every evening Claire sits in her chair / playing marble-on-board solitaire. / From her manner you’d swear / that she isn’t “all there,” / but do not for this woman despair. /// There are things of which you’re unaware. / Like, her day-job’s translating Voltaire. / When her game ends she’ll pair / with her room-mate, Pierre, / to continue their torrid affair.
She had prepared a meal of glazed pearl onions, poured herself some wine, and was fairly certain that the missing fork and knife were causing that pain in her hips.
When there’s no one around her to chatter, / Aggie stares at glass balls on a platter. / At nay-sayers she’ll gloat / when she gets them to float / just by thinking it. Mind-over-matter.
Suddenly, strangely, Helen found the plate with the preserved eyeballs of her several poisoned lovers quite discomfiting. It was as though they were looking back at her…well..accusingly. Perhaps it was it last time to stop playing with them..Having fed them their dinners fateful/ Helen gathered their sad eyes by the plateful/ so they’d never be lonely/ for their sweet “one and only“/Helen thought that they ought to be grateful.
Seriously… Don’t let anyone show you how to complete marbles solitaire… The method is unforgettable and it will spoil the game for you forever… I speak from sad experience…
comment has the artist info that I used to point to here. Again, due to copyright issues (the artist died in 1958 and the painting’s date is after 1926), I can’t use Wikimedia Commons for this painting.
The painter, Charles Spencelayh, grew tired of merely immortalizing moments of loneliness and depression among the elderly. He decided to do something to improve the situation. He arranged for the solitaire woman and the barometer man to meet.
They hated each other, and blamed him for getting their hopes up. Charles vowed never again to get involved in the lives of his models. And that is why that farm couple and their donkey froze to death.
BE THIS GUY about 3 years ago
Pick the right marble, take a shot. Grandma was wasted before lunch.
rmremail about 3 years ago
Dang it. That was my glasses case! Now where did I put my dentures?
Solstice*1947 about 3 years ago
Every evening Claire sits in her chair / playing marble-on-board solitaire. / From her manner you’d swear / that she isn’t “all there,” / but do not for this woman despair. /// There are things of which you’re unaware. / Like, her day-job’s translating Voltaire. / When her game ends she’ll pair / with her room-mate, Pierre, / to continue their torrid affair.
Say What Now‽ Premium Member about 3 years ago
The moment when Gramma ate the marbles and played with the biscuit.
Solstice*1947 about 3 years ago
Agatha was devastated to learn that her prized possession, a necklace of large varicolored pearls, had finally been appraised as sourballs.
ronaldspence about 3 years ago
I don’t think we can call it Chinese Checkers anymore, I think it is called “Marcheck-19 ” now…
Solstice*1947 about 3 years ago
She had prepared a meal of glazed pearl onions, poured herself some wine, and was fairly certain that the missing fork and knife were causing that pain in her hips.
Solstice*1947 about 3 years ago
When there’s no one around her to chatter, / Aggie stares at glass balls on a platter. / At nay-sayers she’ll gloat / when she gets them to float / just by thinking it. Mind-over-matter.
Call me Ishmael about 3 years ago
Suddenly, strangely, Helen found the plate with the preserved eyeballs of her several poisoned lovers quite discomfiting. It was as though they were looking back at her…well..accusingly. Perhaps it was it last time to stop playing with them..Having fed them their dinners fateful/ Helen gathered their sad eyes by the plateful/ so they’d never be lonely/ for their sweet “one and only“/Helen thought that they ought to be grateful.
pcolli about 3 years ago
Her collection of glazed kidney stones.
A Common 'tator about 3 years ago
Seriously… Don’t let anyone show you how to complete marbles solitaire… The method is unforgettable and it will spoil the game for you forever… I speak from sad experience…
Buzzworld about 3 years ago
15,000 oysters later Helen finally found enough pearls to make a necklace.
Egrayjames about 3 years ago
Absolutely no one recognizes Dolly Parton without her makeup on.
Pocosdad about 3 years ago
By the time Helen finished taking her morning meds, it was time to start taking her lunchtime ones.
Reader about 3 years ago
She may be losing her marbles, but she’s still on her rocker.
PO' DAWG about 3 years ago
Waiting for her Match.Com date to show up, hoping she didn’t get cat fished.
PoodleGroomer about 3 years ago
She had spent her life freely handing out her pearls of wisdom, but now this is all she has left.
Another Take about 3 years ago
Poison Pill Roulette was no longer a thrill after Helen’s friend “found” the only deadly pill weeks ago. Still, Helen played on.
Another Take about 3 years ago
_Nothin’ could be finer, than a pill that stopped angina, in the mor-or-ning!
Another Take about 3 years ago
Helen believed that a plate of Tom Cat Oysters every day kept her young and vital. (Not to mention keeping the stray cat population under control)
KEA about 3 years ago
In ‘Rest You Merry’ by Charlotte MacLeod, a lost marble leads to solving a murder. (one of my favorite books, and a holiday tradition)
The Wolf In Your Midst about 3 years ago
Build-A-Bear Workshop’s less-successful offshoot: Build-Your-Dentures.
Calvins Brother about 3 years ago
Jacks mother couldn’t believe he traded the cow for these.
prrdh about 3 years ago
Mrs. Queeg decided to give her favorite steelies to her son Philip to celebrate his assignment to command the U.S.S. Caine.
Plods with ...™ about 3 years ago
When she loses them all, she can be a sales rep.
anomaly about 3 years ago
“These ballbearings should be enough ammo for my slingshot when those pesky kids get on my lawn again.”
mabrndt Premium Member about 3 years ago
Solitaire:
https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/solitaire-46111
has info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting, inscribed with
C.SPENCELAYH
1952
at the lower right.
Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at
http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2781.html
So far, 3 works by this artist have been used here.
https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/08/27?comments=visible
has the prior, and my
http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/08/masterpiece-2778.html
comment has the artist info that I used to point to here. Again, due to copyright issues (the artist died in 1958 and the painting’s date is after 1926), I can’t use Wikimedia Commons for this painting.
sparklite about 3 years ago
“Paint-by-number with marbles isn’t as much fun as using actual paint, but at least it’s free.”
d1234dick Premium Member about 3 years ago
Bhula spends her days no, counting her different brands of opiates, which Medicare sends her each week, she’s lucky that supply exceeds demand.
Solstice*1947 about 3 years ago
No one would ever suspect that Tess was a master criminal, the head of the international cartel which controls the smuggling and sale of turtle eggs.
Running Buffalo Premium Member about 3 years ago
I wish that guy with the donkey and sleigh will hurry up and bring my fish for dinner. Surely he is smart enough not to use the cart.
Helen Ferrieux about 3 years ago
So glad to be remembered by so many of you !
Solstice*1947 about 3 years ago
The painter, Charles Spencelayh, grew tired of merely immortalizing moments of loneliness and depression among the elderly. He decided to do something to improve the situation. He arranged for the solitaire woman and the barometer man to meet.
They hated each other, and blamed him for getting their hopes up. Charles vowed never again to get involved in the lives of his models. And that is why that farm couple and their donkey froze to death.
Durak Premium Member about 3 years ago
“It was the strawberries.”